The Nice Advice by Leah Albert

Dear Leah,

I’ve dated a lot of really great guys that for one reason or another just didn’t work out. In the past, I’ve felt lonely or rejected or sad or whatever. These past few months I’ve been on my own, I’ve hardly even noticed. I’ve found more time to focus on my child and our home. I’ve gotten my finances in order and even made a budget! 

I created an online dating profile recently and then got complaints that I am unresponsive. I can’t stand needy guys. It’s like: don’t you have a life? I’ve found myself reaching out to a couple of past flames that were really good guys. Still are. I don’t seem to have time for any of it. 

With all of these personal accomplishments I’ve been experiencing lately, my weeks are busier and busier.  Suddenly, I have a life — a life about me, and my daughter. 

 I don’t know if it’s the cooler weather, change of seasons or what, but I’m feeling that sense of longing for love again. Any advice?

Signed, 

Accomplished Annie

 

Hi Annie,

The cooler weather is enough to make anyone want to reach out and snuggle someone! You’re human. No worries.

In reading your story, I had a thought. It seems like you are reaching out to past relationships because the connection has already been established. The work has been done. Relighting the flame instead of creating a whole new candle definitely is the easier choice. Requires less energy and time. It’s like an express pass to affection. I get it.

But is that really what you want?

Clearly you have no interest in pursuing a new romantic connection. I understand how obnoxious a million first dates can be. It takes away valuable time and energy from the things we are truly invested in. Hardly worth the babysitter, if you ask me.

Unfortunately, I also think the past guy thing is a waste for you, not to mention your child. It’s got to be pretty confusing for her. She’s had to heal from the letdowns just as much as you have. Maybe more.

I think you just need to walk away from it all and continue on the path you’ve been on the last few months. From the looks of things, you’ll hardly notice! When the right one comes along for you, you’ll definitely notice.

Have a lovely day!

 

Leah Albert is a fictitious character. She likes wine and writing. Don’t ask her to be a matchmaker. Do send your questions to Leah at theniceadviceleahalbert@gmail.com.