Column: When your child is sick, you will do anything to make her better

Staff

Published Monday, January 30, 2006

Scott Schmeltzer, Tribune publisher

“Enjoy the little things, for one day you may look back and realize they were the big things.” - Robert Brault

My daughter Tayler was sick last week, and as a caring dad I wanted to do everything I could do to relieve the pain. I rested with her, wiped her brow with cold cloths and we watched anything she wanted to watch on television. If you're not a doctor and your daughter is sick, it is the most frustrating feeling in the entire world.

Dads are supposed to be able to do it all. We are our children's go-to guy. We should be leaping tall buildings in a single bound, not fixing soup while our little girls are in pain. The frustration of not helping the pain is compounded by the sad, “I'm not feeling good” look that overcomes a child who is really sick.

You know the look because no matter what you say to them, it doesn't help. “Hey, Tayler, can I buy you a new car?”

“Nope.”

“Can I buy you a dolphin, a monkey, a new dog, anything?”

“Nope.”

This is when you really know they are sick. No energy, lip out in the pouting position, sad, lifeless eyes with limited glazed-over eye contact. This look is known as the daddy-breaker.

I broke, and as I broke I wanted to know what was wrong with my daughter, along with all of the other questions, like when is she going to be better, why is she sick, what does she have, what can be done to get her better? Please take an X-ray, please take a CAT-scan, please give me some medicine to make the pain go away, please fix my daughter back to normal. And, oh yes, DO IT NOW!

Daddies also lose their patience when confronted with things that they do not know, like the medical world. To wait while your precious daughter is being poked, prodded, and put through tests that we have to wait for is excruciating for us. I, like many other fathers need to know that when we bring our daughters to the doctor or hospital that:

€ We will get an answer to our child's dilemma.

€ We will get it that day.

€ We will be able to tell our child that it is OK.

€ We will be able to let them know that in so many minutes, hours, days that they will be OK.

€ We will relieve our children's nervousness about being sick.

If for some reason the last five items do not happen very quickly, our patience is pushed once again and I must continue to ask many questions of the nurses and doctors.

Luckily, all my questions were answered and I can go safely back to being my daughter's hero and best friend.

At this point in my column I must now apologize to the nurses and doctors for being so persistent, but as you have read, when your child is sick, you will do anything to make him or her better.

I have to applaud all doctors, nurses, and health care personnel who work to make our children better and the long hours that they put in to do just that. I know that you all are working to make our children better, but as a superhero I need to let you know that I will be back whenever my child is sick and I will need answers.

As parents, we walk the fine line of being too overly cautious with our children and not cautious enough. We have guilt if they are sick and do not feel well and more guilt if we have to go to work during their sickness.

In today's society of two parents working to make ends meet, it has become harder and harder to balance the line between superhero to our children and provider for our children.

To all the parents who walk this line every day, kudos to you and I wish you and your family the best of health.

To my daughter Tayler, I love you and I sure am glad you're feeling better.

I love you,

Scott Schmeltzer a.k.a. “DAD”

(Scott Schmeltzer is the Tribune's publisher. His columns run Monday.)

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