Column: Fairy tale gives lesson for real world healing

Staff

Published Sunday, July 29, 2007

David Larson, Power for Living

“He’s not terrible, papa ... I see him differently.”

— Belle, “Beauty and the Beast”

Recently my family and I took in a production of the fable, Beauty and the Beast at Riverland College. Most of you know this story of a young woman perceived by those around her as “odd” because of her preoccupation with the adventures of reading, educating herself, and holding onto values of sincerity, dignity, authenticity and true love.

She meets the Beast, who out of his own rage and desperation about life, has imprisoned Belle’s father for trespassing on the Beast’s property. Belle trades herself for his release, willing to give her own life for her more vulnerable and sickly father.

Upon becoming aware of the Beast, the townspeople flip into panic and rage and impulsively react, seeing killing the Beast as the only solution to their fear. Following the lead of Gaston’s bravado, ego and thirst to overpower, the townspeople join in his prejudice and fear to make war with the Beast and destroy him.

Out of her courage to be in relationship with the Beast, Belle discovers the Beast’s own bluster and meanness is an expression of a misguided sense of entitlement and lack of education, and finds within him tenderness, a wounded soul in need of love and compassion, rather than rejection and destruction.

After a battle in which the Beast is mortally wounded, and love becomes fully expressed, we see the Beast freed from his selfishness and fear, transformed back into the prince he really was, this time, having learned that loving is the way out of his misery.

It takes no stretch of the imagination to see we live in a society that often sees investing in education “odd,” and spends more energy making war than reading and learning. We find “beasts” on which to project our fright and disappointment about our life situations. We react to and see the mean behavior of others as reason to attack them, verbally, emotionally, spiritually, or physically, and often choose killing as an answer to our fear.

We find ourselves like the townspeople, often gathering behind a macho leader, unable to see our enemy’s choices as an expression of their frustration and desperation. We forget that the disappointing behavior we see is the natural outgrowth of a lack of kindness, support or education to see all human beings as needing tenderness and love. We get preoccupied with our enemies’ behavior, judge them harshly, and seek revenge to destroy those of whom we are afraid.

Belle refused to participate in the same behavior she received from the Beast. She declined to treat him harshly in return, and by caring for the injured Beast found a wounded heart, a being in need of love, and by loving him, transformed him.

We call Bin Laden and the terrorists “evil ones” (beasts), and take our Gaston-type approach to killing what we’re afraid of. Al-Qaida calls Bush and America the “Great Satan” (beast), and takes their Gaston-type approach to killing what they’re afraid of.

In my work, I have had the opportunity to assist all kinds of princes-in-disguise back to normalcy.

If you sat in my chair, you would see the futility of condemning behaviors that have at their source unmet basic needs. And you would witness the daily miracles of love penetrating the most confused and hostile minds with a life-changing salve of healing.

Who are the ‘beasts’ in your life? Do you, too, react from fear when you think of their hurtful choices? Do you judge them as mean or cruel based on their behaviors? Are you distracted by people’s actions, seeing the expression of their desperation as a sign that they are evil, and like the townspeople fail to see their woundedness, their overwhelming grief, their need for your love, not your attack? Will you, out of your fear, return hurt because you have been hurt? Will you become a Beast?

I must admit, at times I have.

Or will you, as I commit to doing, remember your enemy is a prince in disguise, in need of understanding, compassion and love, and realize the way out of misery is looking past the behaviors for the lovableness that exists in all of us, for the innocence often covered by misguided education, trying circumstances, prejudice and needs unmet? Will you be one to meet those needs, or seek to destroy the ones in need?

Each of us must answer this question. Think carefully with me about this. The future of our planet depends on our choice.

David Larson, M.S., C.P.C.C., is a licensed psychologist and the founder of the Institute For Wellness. His column appears on alternate Sundays. He can be contacted at (507) 373-7913, or at his Web site, www.callthecoach.com.

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