photo by Brie Cohen

Mary Bartusek holds a photo of her late husband, Phil, in her home Tuesday. Phil died of lung cancer last December. Mary is this year’s Relay for Life honorary caregiver.

Tears for Phil

Phil Bartusek succumbed to lung cancer in December

By Ashley Stewart | Albert Lea Tribune

Published Thursday, July 16, 2009

When the interview turned to her husband, Phil, tears trickled down Mary Bartusek’s cheeks as she smiled while recalling memories with him.

Phil passed away last December after a long battle with lung cancer. Mary admits it was and still is hard to know someone so important in her life is gone, but she likes to remember the positives.

“For me, knowing the road we had to walk to get through it was a big struggle, but every day Phil would remind me to look forward to tomorrow and encourage me to set goals,” said Mary. “That’s what I’m trying to do today.”

In March of 2006, Mary, who’s a registered nurse, took Phil, a police lieutenant, to Rochester to have tests done. She knew what they were looking for. After the diagnosis was made it was already too late to have surgery to remove the cancer because it had already spread, but Phil began chemotherapy and radiation treatment.

“He was such an easy person to take care of, he never complained even when days were painful, and that was a huge lesson for all of us,” said Mary. “He always had the optimist’s view, looking forward to tomorrow.”

Phil was given three to six months to live and he was determined to beat it. He lived for 18 months and planned his entire funeral with the help of his wife and two daughters, Erin and Emily.

“For most people in the situation I was in it is hard to talk about planning a funeral and what life will be like when they’re gone, but I have comfort now because I know everything is going to be OK,” said Mary.

While Phil was alive he made a list of things he wanted to accomplish, but he was unable to finish them, so Mary, Erin and Emily are doing it for him. Phil had instilled community involvement in his family, and today they continue to be involved by being a part of United Way and other community events. Church was also important to Phil.

“Even while we were struggling with his illness we had a strong faith,” said Mary. “We would pray together every night asking for strength, and I believe that’s why we were able to come out stronger and as better people.”

According to Mary, the thing she loved about Phil the most was his ability to turn every situation into humor, difficult things were turned into laughter.

“We were always laughing,” said Mary. “We tried to keep things as normal and fun for Phil as possible and laughter was a big part in that.”

Today, seven months after the passing of her husband, Mary is this year’s Relay for Life honorary caregiver. The Freeborn County Relay for Life Committee announced it in April.

“It is such an honor for me and my daughters, Erin and Emily, because we have the opportunity to make people’s experience with cancer good,” said Mary. “I enjoy giving people hope when I share my story, and I want everyone to know that there are people who have survived cancer.”

Relay for Life, a fundraiser for the American Cancer Society, is an event near and dear to her heart. This year she has been fundraising for the Albert Lea Police Department’s team, Cops Kicking Cancer, and has also been staying involved with other friends’ teams as well.

“This year it has been hard to put my whole heart into it, but I’m trying to keep my family involved so we can spread the mission for Relay for Life,” said Mary.

Mary is so thankful for the people who remember loved ones through Relay for Life, and all the people who put countless hours into planning and organizing everything.

“It is truly unbelievable,” said Mary. “There is power in numbers, you can feel hope when everyone is together, and like my husband used to say, let’s live everyday the best we can.”

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