Several rather interesting television commercials are based on the premise of a stranger somehow becoming involved in a really delicate situation.

Friday, October 19, 2001

Several rather interesting television commercials are based on the premise of a stranger somehow becoming involved in a really delicate situation. One takes place in a nuclear power plant. Another involves the feeding habits of sharks. And still another takes place in a hospital operating room.

The kicker, or climax, in all these commercials comes when someone asks the stranger if he’s an expert or actually knowledgeable with the particular situation being depicted.

&uot;No,&uot; is his reply, &uot;but I did stay at a Holiday Inn Express last night.&uot;

Well, folks, we’re suffering with a multitude of the same kind of experts on television, radio, and even in a few publications.

Before we get too excited about this topic, let’s define the word expert. My dictionary says this is &uot;a person who has special skill or knowledge in some field; possessing special skill or knowledge.&uot; That sounds very logical. Another definition says an expert is someone from somewhere else. Still another unofficial theory says an expert is someone gifted with an overabundance of bluffing skills, glib talking talents, and an ability to pontificate on just about any any subject.

These self-proclaimed experts remind me of the man featured in a radio commercial who was qualified for a construction position because he made a birdhouse out of Popsicle sticks.

There’s a cruel old saying which once said, &uot;Those who can’t, teach.&uot; This is a horrible insult to those people serving the nation in a fine profession. Instead, this saying should be modernized to, &uot;Those who can’t, become commentators or consultants.&uot;

What we’ve been overwhelmed with on the all-news-all-the-time cable television channels is what I like to call &uot;Rolodex journalism.&uot; No matter what the topic is, the producers of these sometime noisy and often disorganized programs will contact people who are more than willing to participate in the blabber mouth sessions as experts. And if they can get two people with opposing views, then that’s a real plus.

Watching and listening to some of these alleged debates between experts with opposing views reminds me of another saying with some added thoughts, &uot;My mind is made up; don’t confuse me with facts. I’m right and your wrong! And I’ll outshout you to prove it!&uot;

One group of experts I can’t understand are the members of Congress who end up on those television news channels. Our representatives and senators are supposed to be very busy people. Yet, some of these taxpayer-supported people are part of the Rolodex crowd who pontificate as experts on all too many telecasts. Hopefully, they shouldn’t get paid for those appearances.

Since the tragic events of Sept. 11 in New York, Virginia (where the Pentagon is actually located), and in Pennsylvania, a real plague of military experts have been making their appearances on all too many cable television news programs.

Some of these experts who have all the answers regarding future strategy to deal with those terrorists are retired military officers. Their solutions seem to reflect thinking based on wars or military actions of the past. To them I say our nation is facing a unique situation and what worked in the past may not work at all in the future.

Then there are those military strategy experts who have never served in the armed forces. Yet, they’re more than willing to blab away with their advice.

Right about here I’d like to cite two words of wisdom Jill Taylor used on several occasions as her part of the television program, &uot;Home Improvement.&uot; Whenever her klutzy husband, Tim Taylor (Tim Allen) would do or say something stupid, Jill’s comment was, &uot;You’re pathetic.&uot;

To each and every one of those blabber mouth experts on radio and television I can only emphasize that Jill’s comment is certainly pertinent.

And, in conclusion, I’d like to thank the folks who created those Holiday Inn Express television commercials for inspiring this column.

Feature writer Ed Shannon’s column appears Fridays in the Tribune.