I worked in Washington, D.C. recently, a city where no tall buildings are allowed in the downtown area.

There are no buildings over 16 stories high. This is to preserve the beauty of the monuments.

The monuments and memorials are something to see.

I am not a person who is easy to impress.

I have seen the water tower in Hartland and I once knew a young lady whose name was spray painted on the side of it. After visiting the Lincoln Memorial, I can see why Abe was president.

He is seated in his statue, but he still must have been 19 feet tall.

The Washington Monument stands 555 feet high.

It was at this location that I learned that the pastime in Washington, D.C. is standing in line.

I like coming to a line late and letting others do most of the waiting for me.

An interesting aside is that little Howie Doin of Hartland has an exact life-sized replica of the Washington Monument built of cat’s eye marbles and Elmer’s Glue in his basement. The Washington Monument has 898 steps to its top, but nobody takes the steps anymore.

Too many heart attacks.

The Korean War Veterans Memorial has 19 statues of soldiers with illuminated faces marching toward an American flag and a highly polished granite wall that reflects their images, making it appear as though there are 38 men in the company.

This is a symbol of the 38th parallel that divides North and South Korea.

The FDR Memorial featured a statue of Roosevelt in a wheelchair, even though he did not like being portrayed that way.

The first thing I noticed about his statues is that none of them showed him with his trademark cigarette and cigarette holder.

The Vietnam Veterans Memorial was very touching for me, as I know some of the 58,000 names on that wall.

Nearby is the Vietnam Women’s Memorial, the first monument in the capital honoring women in the military.

A visit to Arlington National Cemetery provided looks at the Tomb of the Unknown Soldier and the eternal flame that burns at the gravesite of John F. Kennedy.

The Iwo Jima Marine Corps Memorial depicts the American flag being raised on Mount Saribachi during World War ll.

Ira Hayes was one of those marines and was immortalized in song by Johnny Cash. My father-in-law was at Iwo Jima. I visited the Arlington House, the former home of Robert E. Lee.

Nobody doesn’t like Robert E. Lee.

I stopped at the Bureau of Engraving and saw where paper money is printed. There was a lot of tainted money there.

It taint yours and it taint mine. Do not ask them for samples &045; trust me on this. This is a place where tired workers are happy to hear that they will be making less money.

You need to visit at least twice to cover the 17 miles of corridors that the Pentagon has &045; that’s called repenting.

I visited the Capitol.

The buck stalls there. Security had been heightened.

They went through my fine tooth comb with a fine tooth comb.

If I had gone through security like that before my wedding, I would still be a bachelor. There are three branches of government &045; the executive, the legislative and the partisan. I learned that a bill becomes law only when the moon is in a certain position and every member of Congress takes credit for the good parts.

I stopped at all of the many restaurants in Union Station, but I was unable to find even one offering tater tot hotdish or lime Jell-O with shredded carrots in it and mayonnaise on it.

I discovered that when you order a vegetable burger at Union Station, you do not get a California burger; you get a burger made from soybeans.

Now I have nothing against soybeans.

The crop circles found on my farm were soybeans.

Some of my best friends are soybeans.

I gave the soybean burger to a homeless fellow wearing a parka on a day so hot that my teeth were sweating. He was most appreciative.

He told me that he had been getting a lot of soybean burgers from tourists and that he was developing a real taste for them.

He ate it with a plastic knife and fork that he carried in his pocket.

Later, I visited a bookstore and when I came out there was a beggar waving a paper cup at me.

I tried to ignore him.

He said, “You like to read, man?

Well, I like to eat.”

I wished I had a soybean burger to give to

him.

Hartland resident Al Batt writes columns in the Sunday and Wednesday editions of the Albert Lea Tribune.