The dog is man’s best friend. Who else would have us? I guess the dog didn’t get the first draft choice when it came to picking best friends.

Dogs do make wonderful best friends. Dogs understand a man. A bartender has never heard a sad man tell him, &uot;My dog doesn’t understand me.&uot; A dog understands the need to take a nap, to overdose on Spam sandwiches or to occasionally bark and growl for no reason.

Do you talk to your dog? I think that is healthy. After all, your dog understands you. If you talk to your cat, I think you should seek professional help. Talking to your dog is therapeutic. Your dog will listen to you intently. You do all the talking and your dog will try to see the words as they come out of your mouth. If there is a word escaping from you that your dog doesn’t understand, the canine will twist its head to one side or another to try to get a better look at the word. That is the dog’s dictionary &045; a twist of the head.

My faithful canine companion’s name is Towhee. She is named after a bird that I enjoy seeing. No, I haven’t told Towhee that she is named after a bird. I am waiting for just the right moment to spring that bit of information on her. Maybe after we’ve watched &uot;Old Yeller?&uot; Towhee is half pitbull and half poodle. She is not much of a guard dog, but she is a vicious gossip.

I do have to be careful what I say around my dog. Dogs are smart. I have to spell things around her. My wife spells things around me, too. Just the other day, I heard her say, &uot;C-O-O-K-I-E.&uot; She thinks that I don’t know how to spell &uot;cake.&uot; I don’t like to say &uot;cat&uot; around my dog because it gets her all upset. When I say &uot;cat,&uot; she has to run around the house looking out windows in the hopes of catching a glimpse of a fleeing feline. So, I have to spell out the word, &uot;C-A-T.&uot; I also have to spell, &uot;P-A-P-E-R&uot; because her one big job is walking to the mailbox to get the newspaper. This is a job she takes very seriously &045; too seriously. She spends much of her day waiting for its arrival. I only say, &uot;the paper is here&uot; when I am ready to go and get it.

I also try very hard to never let Towhee know how much I paid for her dog food. If she hears that I bought some really cheap chow for her, she will refuse to eat it. I have to plead with her to even sniff the stuff.

Even though I have to spell around her and watch what I say about price tags, I believe that every man ought to have a dog. They make life a little easier for us. To begin with, most dogs shed more hair than men.

Yes, every man ought to have a dog. A man comes home from a hard day of avoiding work and the minute he walks into the house, he realizes that something just isn’t right. It is like walking into a huge freezer. The man can feel the chill in the air. He immediately senses that everyone in the family is mad at him. Who knows why? He has learned by experience that he should not offer an apology to a family member until he finds out exactly what it is that everyone is mad about. There is no telling what they have found out and there is no sense in apologizing for something that no one knows about. The whole tribe can be angry with the man, but his faithful canine companion will meet him with open paws at the door. If the dog could talk, it would be saying just the things a man wants to hear. &uot;Thank goodness you are home! Why do you have to stay away so long? Where have you been? Just promise me that you will never change &045; you are perfect just the way you are.&uot; What a day brightener. Dogs know that if you want to be happy, you need to forgive &045; often and readily. Dogs are so great because they are happy just being a dog.

Yes, every man ought to have a dog. And if a man has a dog, he ought to say a little prayer every day. A little prayer that goes like this, &uot;Lord, make me the kind of man my dog thinks I am.&uot;

Hartland resident Al Batt writes columns for the Wednesday and Sunday editions of the Tribune.