Albert L. Tribune is excited. I mention this because it doesn’t happen often. When you’re as old as Albert is, it hurts to be excited. He has to save it for when something really good happens.

The renovation of the Tribune basement is complete, the musty smell is a thing of the past, and the place is as clean and neat as it’s been in years. Albert has been able to move out of his temporary home in the unused darkroom and move back to his familiar spot in the cellar &045; which wasn’t a bad place to be when the temprature hit the 90s last week. This good fortune put Albert, the Tribune’s resident sage and senior employee, in quite a good mood . He was strutting about like he was the cock of the walk &045; at least as much as a 106-year-old is capable of strutting.

He was in such good spirits that had the energy to sort through his pile of mail and answer a few of the questions put to him by his fans. Such as:

Dear Albert: Why do we need a new library? I tell you, government should operate the way private business does. You don’t see businesses throwing up fancy new buildings whenever they feel like it. They have to make do!

Albert says: You’re right. Why can’t government follow the example of businesses? Look at Wal-Mart, for example. The Albert Lea Wal-Mart building lasted for 16 long years before they built a fancy new one, leaving the old one to

sit empty. Sixteen years! Now, that’s impressive.

Dear Albert: I heard they may try to recall Gov. Tim Pawlenty, just like they’re recalling Gov. Gray Davis of California. This is a great idea! Let’s recall the county commissioners while we’re at it! What do you think?

Albert says: You’re on to something now. Let’s recall everybody we don’t like. Let’s recall the county attorney, too, for demanding that pay raise. Let’s recall that new city councilman because he hasn’t gotten Paul Sparks fired yet.

Why stop there? How about recalling George Lucas from his job for making a couple of lame prequels to the Star Wars trilogy? And let’s recall that umpire who blew that call in the Twins game last week. I am going to personally start a recall petition against the Kwik Trip clerk who short-changed me by a nickel. It’s the wave of the future! Recall everyone the minute we decide we don’t like them, then replace them with somebody else. If the next person doesn’t work out, recall them, too!

Dear Albert: Have you ever seen those signs downtown that say &uot;When this sign is folded down, cars will be towed&uot;? What the heck does that even mean? If they were folded down, how would you be able to read the sign? Wait … or is it already folded down when it’s displaying that message? How do I tell if it is or isn’t folded down? Am I going to get towed or what?

Albert says: It seems perfectly clear to me. What’s not to get? The only way to make it more clear would be to say &uot;Parking semi-forbidden after blue elephant place vehicle under major system!&uot;

Dear Albert: The city and county are both getting their budgets set for next year. But they seem to do it so differently. At the county level, the commissioners spend months having workshops, listening to department heads and hammering out the budget that is finally passed. In the city, it seems like Paul Sparks gets the entire budget together, hands it to the city council, and they pass it with maybe a few revisions. Why doesn’t the council have more influence on such an important part of the city’s business?

Albert says: Well, the council members really don’t know enough about the city’s day-to-day operations to even have many intelligent contributions on the topic. But I don’t think the council is ever going to be the leadership force the city wants it to be until they start getting more involved in this kind of nuts-and-bolts stuff. Deciding the budget is one of the most important way to set priorities and determine direction. Sounds like the council’s job to me.

Dear Albert: The forum on the Tribune’s Web site doesn’t seem to be working. What’s going on?

Albert says: I was told the message board was being abused by some of the members and people weren’t following the rules. So, it’s been shut down.

I don’t really even know what a Web forum is, but I’m sure we’re all better off without it.

(Dylan Belden is the Tribune’s managing editor. His column appears Sundays. E-mail him at dylan.belden @albertleatribune.com.)