Lime green leisure suits, Earth shoes, 8-track stereos, mood rings and Disco Barbies.

These are things that have gone away.

At least we hope they have gone away. Thank goodness the food served in our churches to people who liked these things did not go along with them.

I think that I can safely say that no one has ever starved in a church basement. No church lady has ever told anyone, &uot;Take a cold tater and wait.&uot;

Potluck sublime. Even the funeral potatoes are wonderful &045; scalloped potatoes and ham. Amazing feasts with aromas almost as good as the tastes.

Lime Jell-O with shredded carrots and mayonnaise.

Church cookbooks are offered for sale. These publications are a treasure trove of favorite recipes enjoyed by the denizens of church basements.

My neighbor Crandall says that even listening to one of the Reverend Neverend’s epic sermons at the Church of the Covered Dish is a small price to pay for good food.

&uot;Is this seat saved?&uot;

&uot;No, but we’re praying for it.&uot;

Oh, there are those scary times when a church is literally awash in lutefisk. There is a movie coming out titled, &uot;When Church Ladies Go Bad.&uot; It will star lutefisk.

Then there are the soup-and-pie suppers.

I don’t believe there is such a thing as bad pie.

I’ve never had a bowl of soup that was bad. Well, not counting oyster stew.

As long as I can tell the soup from the pie, it’s going to be good.

You eat all that you want and then you leave. That’s the beauty of an &uot;Exit&uot; sign. Having a good escape route is one of life’s necessities.

Soup-and-pie suppers are a time-honored means of raising money. The good folks in attendance at such gatherings make me feel like making a joyful noise. Soup and pie go together like televised football games and naps. Soup and pie go together like a power outage and a stubbed toe. Soup-and-pie suppers are the Souper Bowls of church feeds. It has often been said that there are no atheists in a foxhole. I believe that there are no atheists in a church basement during a soup and pie supper.

Bowls of chili, chicken noodle (get the kind that doesn’t use real chicken heads), ham and potato, wild rice, broccoli and cheese, and hobo soup. Bowls of vegetable beef, vegetable medley and of course, fish head soup with marshmallows and seaweed. You can forget about the last one. It never really quite caught on as hoped. One of the best things about soup is that it will never be deep-fried and served on a stick.

Grab some good bread, crackers and get a good grip on the bowl. Be careful, it’s hot. Sit down, howdy everyone at your table and begin slurping. Slurping soup is fun, but leave room for the pie.

I once saw Homer Simpson’s image in a broken Saltine cracker.

Cherry, blueberry, apple, pumpkin, key lime, pecan and lemon meringue pies. Ice cream and whipped cream to bring out the best in the pies.

I change my schedule in order to attend a soup and pie supper.

&uot;I thought you weren’t going to go?&uot; says my wife, The Queen B.

&uot;I wasn’t, but I changed my mind.&uot;

&uot;Does it work any better now?&uot;

We were getting ready to go to a soup-and-pie supper at a local Lutheran church.

&uot;You’re not going to wear that, are you?&uot; said my wife.

Well, of course, I wasn’t. As I changed my clothes, I wondered why women are always saying such things to their husbands, while men seldom if ever say such a thing to their wives. I guess it is because men don’t have that color-coordination gene.

I do love church soup-and-pie suppers. The people who work at these functions and the people who attend them are some of the best people on earth. Such gatherings of good folks should not be missed if at all possible. A soup and pie supper makes for an extraordinary day.

Now for a shameless plug. Cross of Glory Lutheran Church’s annual soup-and-pie supper is going to be on Thursday, Nov. 6 from 4:30 to 7 p.m. Good grub and great folks.

You will find the church just off the beautiful downtown area of Hartland. If you can find Hartland, you will be able to find the church. There are those who say nothing much ever happens in Hartland, but almost all of it that does happen is good.

You’ll find the church. Just follow your taste buds.

(Hartland resident Al Batt’s columns appear Wednesdays and Sundays in the Tribune.)