By Al Batt, Tribune columnist

Readers ask me if Bath is a real town.

Others ask if Bath is known for anything other than being the beginning of the Great Wall of China.

Yes, Bath is a real place and it has a rich and fascinating history.

Bath is a large city located in the northern part of Freeborn County.

Here is a bit of the history of Bath that I’ve accumulated through the years. It was quite a task for a man who as a boy wished he was older so he wouldn’t have so much history to learn. None of this is a myth. That, of course, is because a myth is a female moth.

Bath was first settled in the early part of the 14th century by Native Americans. The Heckowi tribe built a casino along the shore of Lake Bath.

The Heckowi were ahead of their time and the casino failed as no one had any coins to put into the slot machines. It wasn’t for lack of effort that the casino was unsuccessful. The Heckowi brought in the Rolling Stones and even had Lawrence Welk join the Stones while singing his biggest hit, &uot;Born to be Wild.&uot;

An apple fell on the head of Sir Isaac Newton while he was sitting under a tree in Bath. The odd thing about this occurrence is that he was sitting under an oak tree at the time. Undaunted by this fact, Newton used this experience as the inspiration to create his world famous applesauce recipe.

The first sod house was built in Bath when it became impossible to find a carpenter who still made house calls.

The Bath area was relatively quiet until the Lewis and Clark expedition made a stop.

You are probably asking yourself why no history book records these explorers in the Bath area.

Historians are funny people. They only remember what they want to remember. There was very little media in those days and no cameras or tape recorders, so it was easy for some of our historical details to have become lost.

Lewis and Clark also lost a bet with the Johnson sisters over who could eat the most lutefisk.

Shamed by the loss, Lewis and Clark asked that historians wipe their visit to Bath out of the history books.

Lutefisk played an important role in the development of Bath. The first Super Bowl occurred in Bath during a lutefisk feed. This lead to the creation of the first vomitorium.

Bath played a pivotal roll in this country’s history.

Abraham Lincoln met his wife at a toga party in Bath.

The Declaration of Independence was actually signed at a kitchen table on a farm just west of Bath.

The Wright Brothers flew off the handle after receiving a parking ticket at the Bath International Airport.

The CIA headquarters is located in Bath, but they don’t want anyone to know it. Don’t ask me for more information.

Fenway Park is situated just outside Bath.

The Bath Red Sox have suffered from the ‘curse of the bamboo’ after making their bleachers out of poor quality bamboo that they harvested at Embarrass, Minnesota. This bad wood lead to the great bamboo splinter epidemic of 1918.

&uot;It’s a Wonderful Life&uot; was filmed in Bath. The part of the actor Jimmy Stewart was not really Jimmy Stewart. His part was played by Amos Kelly of Bath. Amos did such a good job that Jimmy Stewart retired from acting and paid Amos to do all his roles for him.

There are those who say that the Olympics were never held in Bath. That’s what they’d like you to believe.

Uphill skiing began in Bath.

It never really caught on.

The entire village of Bath was the center square on The Match Game for seven years. The strange thing is that Bath occupied this vital position only during the reruns.

Richard Nixon gave his famous &uot;I am not a cook&uot; speech before selling the Bath Cafe and embarking on a political career.

The first time-share was shared for a time in Bath.

Professional football once flourished in Bath, but after public financing of a stadium failed, the Bath Vikings moved to a small town to the north.

The Atkins Diet started in Bath. It was begun by a doctor Finnegan who hated the name Finnegan and always wished that his name had been Atkins.

The idea for Starbucks was hatched in Bath after Ole Nelson, having lost while shaking dice to see who bought lunch and employing poor math skills, mistakenly paid $16.71 for a cup of coffee.

I trust this information gives you assurance of the existence of Bath, Minnesota.

Bath &045; it’s bigger than life.

Parking is available.

(Hartland resident al Batt writes a column for the Tribune each Wednesday and Sunday.)