Many, many years ago, shortly after the birth of my first child when I was still fearful I’d break her trying to wrangle her into her clothes each day, I read everything I could get my hands on about being a parent.

Like most parents, I wanted to be a good parent but was unsure what it meant, let alone how to do it, so I read everything on parenting I could find.

The one thing that I remember reading was a short story in some woman’s magazine like &uot;Family Circle,&uot; written by an exasperated mother trying to cope with a toddler.

The details have long faded from my mind, but the general message stuck with me and stood me in good stead over the years. The author of the story detailed a typical half-hour with her toddler busy going from one activity to another. Mom was wore out

as much from the nightly caretaking of her child as she was chasing after the little tyke.

It seemed the frazzled mother had reached the end of her rope when she looked up from her task to see the child (sorry, can’t remember if it was a girl or a boy) walking through the house gripping the end of the toilet paper, which trailed through house from the upstairs bathroom.

Near tears, she grabbed her child in a hug and wondered what the little one had learned. In a moment, she realized every object, every experience was new to the toddler, who couldn’t possibly understand too much, being only a couple years old.

After reading that article, I was less likely to get frustrated when my children made &uot;messes&uot; &045; I understood it was all a part of exploring and learning about the world.

Sunday is Parents’ Day, a good time to celebrate the challenges and successes of being blessed with the most important job on this earth &045; giving the next generation the skills they need to successfully keep our world going for additional millenniums.

In 1994, former President Bill Clinton signed into law the resolution unanimously adopted by the U.S. Congress making the fourth Sunday of July Parents’ Day. The holiday is designed to promote responsible parenting and to bring awareness to the importance of parents serving as positive role models for their children. It also seeks to highlight parents who are doing the job well.

Although children don’t come with a manual, there is plenty of help out there for parents to be the best they can be for their children, such as the advice offered by John Manz, a counselor with Lutheran Social Service:

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Create reasonable rules. Rules are a way of providing security and showing your child that you care. They help keep children safe, and provide an environment where children can blossom and flourish. Be sure to share clear expectations of your children, offer them healthy choices, be a good listener and keep lines of communication open.

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Parent together. Be unified as co-parents in your decisions about parenting. If you disagree, talk together before approaching your child with a decision or consequence.

Be ready to say, &uot;I support your mother in her decision.&uot;

Even if parents are no longer married or together, children are better served when their parents are united and supportive of one another in their roles as parents.

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Be a positive role model. Actions speak louder than words. Show your child the kind of behavior you would like to see in them.

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Nurture family values. Love your child unconditionally, and tend to your family well. Our faith, for many of us, tells us that loving means providing for the health and wholeness of the family that’s been entrusted to us.

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Provide good structure. Kids thrive on routine. Have regular waking times and bedtimes. Sit down together as a family at dinner to talk about your day, or have &uot;pizza night&uot; on Friday. Snuggle up together at night and enjoy a good book together, or close the day with a prayer.

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Stay in charge.

Be playful with your spouse and parental with your child.

So often, parents reverse those roles.

One of the best gifts that we can give our children is a healthy, loving relationship with our spouse.

We can be playful with our children, too, but our primary role is not to be our child’s buddy, but a parent.

No one ever said raising children was easy, but parenting is the most noble job any of us will ever do.

(Debbie Irmen, Tribune editor)