Every editor can tell you horror stories about the mistakes they or their reporters have made. The consequences of some of those mistakes are enough to make the blood curdle.

Working the news business for going on 17 years, I’ve made my share of mistakes. In some cases, I’ve also learned to laugh at myself.

When humiliation is so deep, there’s simply nothing else to do but laugh at oneself. When you all make a mistake, a few people may know about it. When someone in the newspaper business makes a mistake, thousands of people know it, comment on it, call you &045; and everyone else they know &045; about it, talk about it over coffee … well you get the picture.

Perhaps worse than everyone talking about it &045; that usually only lasts a day or two &045; is that it is there in black and white for a hundred years, so when you are dead and long gone, people will still run across the error and at the very least chuckle about it.

One of the most horrific mistakes I made &045; and I wasn’t laughing about it &045; came early in my career. I was working as the newsclerk then, typing almost every piece of paper that was submitted by residents &045; births, weddings, engagements, church news, business news, obituaries and letters to the editor.

Some distinction must be made between typing and scanning. When scanners came along, it greatly reduced the margin of error in some respects, however, a whole new kind of error appeared &045; coding marks. I’m sure you recognize them when they are overlooked. They aren’t technically a typo, but it you pause as you are reading and we try to avoid that in this industry.

Anyway, as part of a church announcement, no less, I miss typed the word &8220;fee,&8221; as in &8220;a small fee will be charged.&8221; My version read, &8220;a small feel will be charged.&8221;

Without context, you might think this an innocuous, even humorous error, but the mistake occured in an announcement for a local psychologist who was speaking in a community where a doctor had been charged with inappropriate sexual conduct with a patient. It really wasn’t very funny.

The psychologist called immediately after, in good humor, to say he had received a lot of tongue-in-cheek teasing from his friends. Mortified, I offered my apologies and to rerun the information without the typo. He accepted my apology and agreed to republication of his announcement.

He called again the next day, most of his humor gone. By week’s end, he was threatening to sue the paper, me and anyone else he could possibly sue.

What many people don’t realize is that to sue there has to be intent to harm and I had simply made a very humbling, but human mistake.

Eventually the hubbub died down, but I haven’t forgotten it and I doubt if the psychologist has

forgotten it.

While that wasn’t a laughing matter, many mistakes are. For instance, the following e-mail of funny headlines found its way into my &8220;in&8221; box and I laughed out loud at several of them. What’s an editor to do when she knows it could very well have been her headline? I do hope you find them as

funny as I did. I left the snide comments

in tact because they were almost as funny as the headlines.

The year’s best (actual) headlines of 2004:

Crack Found on Governor’s Daughter

(Imagine that!)

Something Went Wrong in Jet Crash, Expert Says

(No, really?)

Police Begin Campaign to Run Down Jaywalkers (Now that’s taking things a bit far!)

Is There a Ring of Debris around Uranus?

(Not if I wipe thoroughly!)

Panda Mating Fails;

Veterinarian Takes Over (What a guy!)

Miners Refuse to Work after Death (No-good-for-nothing’ lazy so-and-sos!)

Juvenile Court to Try Shooting Defendant (See if that works any better than a fair trial!)

War Dims Hope for Peace (I can see where it might have that effect!)

If Strike Isn’t Settled Quickly, It May Last Awhile (You think?)

Cold Wave Linked

to Temperatures (Who would have thought!)

Enfield (London) Couple Slain; Police Suspect Homicide (They may be on to something!)

Red Tape Holds

Up New Bridges

(You mean there’s something stronger than duct tape?)

Man Struck By Lightning: Faces Battery Charge (he probably IS the battery charge!)

New Study of Obesity Looks for Larger Test Group (Weren’t they big enough?!)

Astronaut Takes

Blame for Gas in Spacecraft (That’s what he gets for eating those beans!)

Kids Make Nutritious

Snacks

(Taste like chicken?)

Local High School Dropouts Cut in Half

(Chainsaw Massacre all over again!)

Hospitals are Sued

by 7 Foot Doctors (Boy, are they tall!)

Typhoon Rips Through

Cemetery; Hundreds Dead