A four-day school week? Oh joy and gladness. When I was a school girl I could have wished for nothing better except, perhaps, a three-day school week. There’s something tidy about a Monday, Wednesday and Friday week.

We need money for so many little things. Such as the blocked off hunk of Washington Avenue,

you know, to prevent all those railroad accidents.

No one in this area has ever seen any such and I, myself, have lived here for more than 60 years and never seen a train wreck or even a serious train accident.

I have decided that our city council has been getting its information from a branch of the investigation unit that informed our president about all those dangerous weapons in Iraq.

Back to the new school schedule, though. Not only will it give the school children a bit of a rest from all those hours at school, but it will improve their future prospects beyond measure.

The real money now is in politics. Remember when Adlai Stevenson didn’t win the election? It was all explained that it was because he was too intelligent. Article after article pointed out that people of this country were still close to the frontier days.

They judged a man by how well he plowed a field, rode a horse, chopped down a tree and probably by how many of the neighbors he managed to shoot dead with his trusty gun before breakfast. They were having no truck with an egg head.

By the time they got through President Bush’s first term, for which he wasn’t exactly elected, it was perfectly obvious that there was no danger that in electing him they had elected an &8220;egg head.&8221;

It was also apparent that to keep the right kind of people in office it was necessary to make sure that voters shouldn’t (God forbid) be egg heads either. A four-day school week should help toward that aim.

Although we seem to be doing pretty well even with school weeks as they are. Had a workman heading for my house call me up the other day. Said he was on Washington Avenue, but couldn’t seem to find 909 S. Washington. Well, if people are finding it hard now wait until they plant that closed off block full of trees as I’ve heard they’re planning on doing.

I’ve had several friends volunteer to break down the curb around that closed off section with an axe, but shucks, with a classy bright bunch like our council, you kind of hate to hurt their feelings.

After all, it probably just didn’t occur to them to ask anyone in this neighborhood about the train fatalities. Probably afraid we were egg heads or something.

No, I don’t know how much it cost to dig up that land, curb it, lay the sidewalk and (possibly) plant trees on it. I can tell you where the money to pay for it is coming from, though. It isn’t necessary is it?

And actually it shouldn’t be too much of a burden for the tax payers either. After all, we can always cut off another school day.

For heaven’s sake, who wants a bunch of smart, educated kids around to take over? Egg heads. It might not take them two or three years to ask themselves why, if we’ve brought such hope and freedom to Iraq, that in their joy the liberated people of that country have killed some 2,000 of our young people.

The possibility that an invaded country might be a bit surly about having their parents and children shot and bombed and otherwise removed from this plane of existence is probably something that would be considered only by an egg head.

(Love Cruikshank is an Albert Lea resident. Her column runs Thursday.)