Column: The riddle of the 2006 Minnesota Twins

Published 12:00 am Thursday, May 4, 2006

Jon Laging, Sports Talk

Riddles have a long and honorable history. They appear in the Bible, the Koran and the Torah.

Various riddle tournaments were held in ancient times and in Turkey, girls used riddles to test the wits of their suitors and often chose the winner to be their husband.

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Riddles are still very popular. One of the premier wordsmiths of the 20th century, Winston Churchill, used a riddle to described Russia when he said: &8220;Russia is a riddle wrapped in an enigma.&8221; The multi-year bestseller, The Da Vinci Code is a series of riddles.

Our grandchildren, along with many other children, love riddles and for a time we sent them back and forth in the mail. My favorite and I think the grandchildrens’ was: How do you catch a squirrel? You climb to the top of a tree and act like a nut.

One riddle that points up our society is the following: &8220;A young man is rushed to the hospital after a road accident. He is taken to the operating theater immediately for an emergency operation but the surgeon takes one look at the patient and says &8216;I can’t operate on this man, he’s my son.’&8221; The strange thing is that the surgeon is not the patient’s father. What could explain this?&8221; The answer in next week’s column.

The Minnesota Twins are a riddle. How can such a team, which so much was expected of, play so poorly? As of this date The Twins are hitting 22 percent and pitching 23 percent worse than the rest of the American League. The middle of their line-up, Rondell White, Torii Hunter and Justin Morneau are batting .177. The starting pitching is just as bad.

There is an old saying: If you can’t run with the big dogs, stay on the porch. In the late April series with Detroit the Twins elected to stay on the porch with the Kansas City puppies of the world.

The Twin City newspapers could hardly wait until the Twins came back to town. Jim Souhan of the Star Tribune had this to say: &8220;Your pitching, outfield defense … hitting has been putrid. You’re playing … as though the season is lost, which is a self fulfilling prophecy.&8221; He goes on to disparage almost everyone including Terry Ryan and Ron Gardenhire. I hope he is wrong for I have looked forward to a summer of following the Twins.

I know he is wrong to a degree. How much of a degree is the riddle. Given the constancy of baseball and the individual history of White, Hunter and Morneau, they are bound to improve. The same holds true for pitchers Radke and Silva. Will their and the team’s improvement be enough to bring the team into contention, let alone catch the White Sox? As you read this, the team will probably be at least seven games out. By their poor play the team is putting a tremendous burden on itself. They not only have to play as well as the White Sox the rest of way, they will have to play seven games better. In addition, they have to pass three teams to lead the division. A daunting task indeed.

What can Terry Ryan do to shore up his team? There’s not a lot Ryan can do. There is no Micky Mantle in Rochester, N.Y. If there was he would be on the team. There is one ace in the hole for the pitching staff in Francisco Liriano, but he can’t replace two starters.

About all Ryan and the team can do is to &8220;stay the course&8221; as JFK would say. Never give up and hope for better days. To keep the faith and hope the Twins pull out of their swan dive. For if they don’t, and if it appears that the team is mediocre at best, Ryan will not hesitate to trade veterans such as Hunter, Stewart, Batista, Ford, Castro, Castillo, Silva and Lohse for prospects in hopes of recreating 2001. Then the riddle of what to do with the 2006 Minnesota Twins will be solved.