John Focke, Behind the mike

In the words of the immortal Slick Rick, &8220;These are my thoughts, just my thoughts.&8221; With that being said, here are 10 thoughts I had while wondering how long it will be before Steve &8216;Snapper’ Jones punches out Bill Walton during an NBA broadcast.

1. Speaking of Walton, was there a better on-air exchange in Sunday’s game than when Walton (who had been classic Walton, making outrageous claims all game and playing instant historian) said, &8220;Where is Manu Ginobili?&8221; To which Mike Tirico replied, &8220;Over there Bill, in the right corner.&8221;

2. The Cleveland Cavaliers have decided to grow playoff beards, stealing the idea from every NHL hockey team. This idea is new to the NBA ballers who usually shave their heads as a sign of unity (who can forget the pacers when Chris Mullin, and Rik Smits participated…wow!) But LeBron James had the best description of the Cav’s Zydrunas Illgauskas’ beard when he called him Tom Hanks from &8220;Castaway.&8221;

3. How long do you think it took Joe Mauer to re-grow his sideburns after he gave them to that kid in the commercial? (By far the best Twins commercial of the year.)

4. Just because I love them, another couple of Waltonisms &8220;This lead is falling like the leaves of the trees of a deciduous forest.&8221; On Kevin Garnett, &8220;How can he add any more muscle to that already computer generated body?&8221; On why NBA players are getting cramps, &8220;It’s due to the lack of V8 juice.&8221; Do you think Walton endorses V8? And if so when is he going to start appearing in commercials giving away his sideburns?

5. After ingesting waaaay too much NFL Draft coverage, I had this thought; Is Mel Kiper Jr. like Sampson? Is his power derived from his hair? And since he is Mel Kiper Jr., how big is Mel Kiper Sr.’s head?

6. There is a new trend in the NFL; former basketball players being signed as undrafted free agents to play tight end. This trend started with Antonio Gates, and this year former Gopher Zach Puchtel had a tryout with the Bears, while Jai Lewis of George Mason was also awarded a tryout.

And Brock Lesnar couldn’t make the Vikes?

7. With their recent revelations about how much money they have lost gambling, John Daly and Charles Barkley have been invited to my new &8216;Poker Night.’ They will be the only people invited to play, and I plan on retiring when the evening is over.

8. Is there anything more confusing than this stadium situation? Let’s just look at the Gophers.

First, they get TCF to pay for naming rights, then the state steps in and says, &8220;no we’d rather tax the public than let a bank pay for a portion of the deal.&8221; Apparently they felt they were selling out. But if the founder of TCF were a U alumnus this would be okay?

By the way what happened to Denny Sanford?

9. Boy was I surprised when I had to file two different tax returns. Apparently. I have been living in Twins Territory for the past year.

10. Did anyone else wonder why Bob Costas wasn’t dressed up to ride the NBC horse at the Kentucky Derby? And isn’t there a conflict of interest if the network broadcasting the Triple Crown sponsors a horse? And can all interviews with athletes be conducted from horseback?

And now as we settle in for the stretch run of the NBA playoffs and the NHL playoffs one can only wonder what a dinner party would be like featuring Bill Walton, Barry Melrose, and Steven A. Smith. After &8216;Poker Night’ I’ll buy.