Column:

Neighboring in action builds mutual trust

By Sarah Aeiken, Guest Column

Neighboring is a word that causes me to smile, as I think about what it means. I like turning nouns into verbs because verbs signify action. People can be neighbors for years and never connect. Acts of kindness in a neighborhood build from mutual trust, happening in one meeting or many in moments or in years.

In three decades our core one-block long street gradually transformed from a neighborhood into a neighboring community. Throughout these years we&8217;ve had a variety of leaders and followers of races, religions, economic backgrounds and the full spectrum of ages surrounding us at our corner lot location.

My husband and I are now in the second-to-oldest age group, as we have several widows over 80 years old on our block. I put their names in my birthday book, sometimes send cards, greet them, or invite them to public activities. As I turn 65 today, while writing this article on Nov. 29, I think about how my reaching out to the other end of the generation span in our neighborhood impacts them.

We celebrate the children being born, graduating and going off to jobs, service or college.

During transitions, we are mutually supportive at any age level. When my husband was suddenly ill last winter, the doctor ordered no snow shoveling. Our driveway and sidewalks were cleared each day by several neighbors, before we even asked. Since we connect often across driveways, we also feel comfortable asking. We are also all right with them accepting or refusing payment. When a jointly owned snow-blower dies, my husband is able to provide correct tools or parts from our hardware store. When anyone travels for a bit, if asked, someone is there to pick up the newspapers, feed the animals, put away the recycling bins, water the plants or without being asked, will just keep an eye on the lonesome house.

While neighboring we solve problems together. Discussions pop up about mutual trees, shrubs and plants, as well as issues of privacy, pathway school shortcuts for kids, air conditioner noises and preference for rock landscaping vs greenery. Parking, lawn mowing, party noises, motor revving, allergies to flowering trees or barbeque smoke, recycling, clutter piles, bats, cats, dogs, squirrels and skunk nuisances all surface as topics to discuss. There is lots of give and take.

We cook or bake extras for exchange, we share garden produce, cool drinks, old and new jokes and pranks. Help with transplanting, painting, building and pouring concrete all happens. Some loan their trucks, give rides and jog or walk together. We relax on each others&8217; patios and once made a family project of watching late-night comets trek across the sky.

All this happens because we are all open to neighboring. We take action and ask when we see a possible need. We trust other to tell the truth, if they are too busy and we&8217;re all right with a yes or a no. We&8217;re all modeling for the children growing up around us and realize we each have something to offer them, even if we&8217;re retired and not as active as we were.

Recently, a hand-painted sign appeared across the street announcing the birth of a new neighbor. We&8217;re all excited. We are learning, &8220;What comes around, goes around,&8221; whether old or young. We know we&8217;re all a part of the neighboring whole of life.

Sara Aeikens lives in Hayward.