Saying yes to everything can burn people out

Published 12:00 am Monday, July 30, 2007

I used to be a good volunteer. I was involved in many things. I said yes to everything. I got burned out. I got tired. I got older and wiser. Many will see that statement as a very poor excuse.

That doesn&8217;t mean that I do not volunteer anymore. When I was the yes person I was very visible. Many times I was in charge. I was stressed. I could use many other words to describe the way I was feeling.

When I was a good volunteer I found that the causes that I volunteered for and I was passionate about were not a stress but a joy. I was able to use the talents the Lord gave me to help someone else or help a greater cause. Unfortunately, because I was saying yes to everything someone needed or asked of me I was using my talents less and less and had less time for those causes that I felt passionately needed to be done.

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This is where old age sets in. I got wiser. I looked around me and started seeing all the stressed people. Yes, I was the cause of some of those people&8217;s stress because I would not take no for an answer when I needed help for some of those &8220;Yes&8221; activities. I found myself sitting in meetings where it seemed like all we did was meet. We discussed but never came to any decisions to act. It seemed more and more meetings were like that. I decided to start saying no and concentrate on more quality volunteering instead of quantity.

The thing about volunteering is the fact that sometimes the world thinks big and if we are not out there visibly championing the cause then we can&8217;t possibly be volunteering or helping anyone. When someone hears you say no and does not see you visibly doing something they make judgments and decide that you are not doing anything. One such person that I said no to twice in a row said to me &8220;Just what is it that you do anymore?&8221;

There are many volunteers silently, in the background, performing acts of kindness and work that benefits many people but they are silent and unrecognized because that is what they want. What is a volunteer? Does it have to be someone that joins a group or goes to meetings so that you can see them or is it someone that helps a neighbor, drives someone to a doctor or sends a card that uplifts someone&8217;s spirit. We all do not have to do the same thing.

We need volunteers for many, many things. Each person has his or her own calling and gift. And yes sometimes we do have to volunteer for things that are not our cup of tea. The point is that if we say yes to everything and we try to take care of everyone&8217;s needs we have little time to devote quality time to those activities that we do have a gift for. Because we say yes to everything many times we resent those activities.

I think the same thing happens sometimes when we donate money to an organization or a cause. How many address labels do you have in your drawer? I like to donate to different charities. Of course, they keep asking for more money. I haven’t figured out if the address labels are to guilt us into sending money or if they are just trying to be nice. The guilt thing seems to work with me. Are there times that you think that you are tired of all these organizations asking for money because once you donate you receive a plea in the mail or on the phone at least once a week? Sometimes I feel that way and then of course I feel guilty that I feel that way because these organizations do such good and they really do need the money. The problem is that I do not possibly have enough money to donate all the time to these organizations.

Many times we throw money at an organization and do not think about the people the money might help. It is an easy way to help with nameless faces. Through eBay I donated some money to a place called Donors Choose. I did choose where to send my money and then forgot about it because they don’t send address labels. I received a large envelope in the mail a couple of weeks ago from this organization. I was expecting a plea for money. Instead it was a thank you letter from a teacher in a third grade class in California and personal letters written to me by the students in that class thanking me for my donation and telling me how my money helped them. They even drew pictures. I was amazed and very touched to receive these letters. I had names and faces put to my donation. It was a donation that I totally had forgotten about.

Volunteer your time in a way that is right for you. Wherever you choose to place the quality of your volunteer time whether it is visible or invisible will benefit from the choices that you consciously make. Keep receiving address labels. Those labels mean that you are helping someone and you are making a difference. We can change the world. Even small gestures matter.

Wells resident Julie Seedorf&8217;s column appears every Monday.

E-mail her at somethingaboutnothing@mchsi.com.