There is a difference between tattling and telling. It&8217;s not always easy to know the difference, but it is important for kids to know when to approach adults and when to leave matters alone.

Kids, tattling is when all you want to do is to get another person in trouble or simply to get attention. Usually, people tattle for little things that really do not matter much in the big picture. (You&8217;ve heard it before: &8220;Mom, she&8217;s on my side of the line. Dad, he&8217;s making faces again.&8221;)

Telling, however, is when the matter is important. Kids, if your friend, sibling, relative or even another adult is doing something dangerous, destructive or immoral, you need to tell.

Examples can range from small to large: Chatting online without permission. Climbing on counters when you could fall. Playing in a hazardous area. Stealing. Lying. Bullying. Using drugs or alcohol.

Parents, you know children tell each other not to &8220;tattle&8221; for things. The worry comes on the day they don&8217;t inform you of something they should because they didn&8217;t want to tattle. How do you balance this?

When your child tattles to get another in trouble, don&8217;t punish the other child (rewarding tattling only promotes further tattling) and explain to the tattler the difference between tattling and telling. When your child tells, thank the tot like you would thank any grown-up for similar helpful behavior.

Experts say it also is good for children to not witness their parents gossip. It encourages tattling behavior.

For younger children, they usually are simply trying to establish boundaries for your rules or for morals. Give them time, of course, and if you are careful to reward telling and ignore tattling, they will get the picture. Your child will be better off because you were a wise parent.