Did you hear my screams last week? As you may or may not have noticed, my e-mail address has changed. I have changed Internet providers. This decision was not made lightly. I was happy with my past Internet provider but you know what they say, money talks and the prospect of saving money by switching providers influenced my decision. Out with the old and in with the new.

However, as with many decisions I have made in my life, I didn’t quite understand the consequences of the change. I did not think of the frustrations of the change. And so this wonderful money saving move of mine cost me more in time than money.

You might think it would be easy to change providers. It was. The hard part was taking the time to change my e-mail on all the sites that I have registered and need to acquire permission to enter. It was easy sending all my friends my new e-mail address. I grabbed the names out of the address book and clicked send.

I neglected to remember how frustrated I get when I need to access Web sites that have tight security.

First, I have to remember my passwords, and then I need to remember the answer to my security question. Did I use capital letters or lowercase? There are some Web sites I only need to access once or twice a year, but I still needed to let them know my new e-mail address. I can’t tell you how many times I almost got locked out of these sites because of the wrong capital or lowercase letter. My spouse is not happy about these changes either, though he liked the “save money” part of the deal. He hates the computer, and now he has to spend his valuable golfing time changing his addresses.

How can something that is going to save us so much time, take so much time? Wasn’t the idea of the Internet and e-mail supposed to save us time? I have to be able to get those paperless e-statements from my credit card so I can pay the bill. Most of the time I didn’t know I signed up for paperless e-statements. My Spam filter ate my statements. Have you ever tried to explain that to a credit card company?

Internet security is important, and it is good that these sites are so secure. It was harder for me to get into a site to change my e-mail than it was for me to close an account in an area bank.

I walked into the bank that I had not seen the inside of for years. I didn’t know them, and they didn’t know me. I told them I wanted to close my account. They asked my name. I told them. They confirmed the town I lived in, and they handed over my money. They didn’t even ask for ID. They didn’t ask for passwords. I had my money quicker than I could change my e-mail on a secure Web site. That didn’t make me feel very secure.

I also changed from cable to dish. Again I was not unhappy with cable but again money talks. I did not have to spend time changing e-mail addresses, but that new remote had me screaming again. You see, I may be able to fix computers, but the technology of a remote control escapes me. The other evening my picture turned black. I had just touched the live TV button, and I had no live TV. I had half of a live TV. I had sound, I had menu but I had no picture. My husband had live TV, he had sound and he had picture. He was not concerned about the screaming in the living room.

I pulled out the book and tried all the troubleshooting tips. I understand troubleshooting, I guide customers through it every day when it comes to computers, but that DVR box refused to obey. It was time for tech support. Usually the first thing I ask a customer to do is to restart their computer. It will reset things. The first thing the technician told me to do was to hold the button in on the DVR box until it shut off. It would restart on it’s own, and it would be fine. I can’t imagine why I did not think of that. Blonde?

One night recently I heard a beep in my living room. I hadn’t heard that beep before. Five minutes later there was another beep. I called to my husband and asked him if he heard the beep. He hadn’t.

Was it my smoke alarm battery? Was it my carbon monoxide detector? I was so puzzled. I knew it was coming from the room I was in. I heard another beep. It was coming from my cell phone. I had a text message. I had never had a text message before. My son was texting me to tell me his plane was sitting on the runway in Chicago waiting to take off for home. It only took me a half hour to figure out what was happening.

I live in fear. I am getting older. My brain is getting fuzzier. A friend of mine just got a letter from her bank. She can no longer call on the phone to check on her account, she must do it on the Internet. Luckily she is a technical 70-year-old, but she is fearful of Internet banking. How soon is the time going to come when I do not understand any of the technical gadgets that I will need to pay my bills, start my appliances, run my television and talk to my family.

I guess I am going to have to train my watchdog Sambo how to run all of my technical gadgets so he can become my technology guide dog. After all he already knows how to dig the holes for my plants, trees and birdbath so why not expand that to technology?

“I like my new telephone, my computer works just fine, my calculator is perfect, but Lord, I miss my mind!” — Author Unknown

Wells resident Julie Seedorf’s column appears every Monday. Send e-mail to her at

thecolumn@bevcomm.net.