“Children learn best from example; the trouble is, they don’t know a good example from a bad one.”

That is a quote from one of my devotion books. I happened to read this quote as I was in a state of worry. I was worrying about one of my children. My family would not find that new since I am a worrier and I have spent most of their lives worrying about them. However, this statement brought me up short. Was my worrying, possibly excessive worrying, a good example to my children?

I am sure you have all experienced the feelings of worry when it comes to your children. I think it is a very rare person that does not worry. When something is wrong with one of your children and you worry, every rational thought flies out the window. You want to drop everything and rush to your child’s side because a mother and father are supposed to make everything better. Only you can’t.

It does not matter how old your children are. It does not matter if they are babies, toddlers, teenagers or adults; they are still your babies. They are still your children and you want to protect them from all the bad realities of this world. The difference may be that when they are babies and toddlers and teenagers they live with you so that you can see them and touch them and take care of them. You can judge the severity of their illness.

When your children are adults and you are miles away it is hard to know if they are protecting you or if they really are OK. If you are with them when they are going through the tests the wait is hard but you are there to see how things are going.

However, the point is this. If you are a child, a teenager or an adult, it is a fact your parents will always worry about you. I remember my illnesses and how my mother would drive me crazy worrying about me. I totally did not understand until I had my own children, and I turned into my mother. Worry drives all reason out of your head, and it drives your children crazy. Of course, they drove us crazy all the years they were growing up, so is that the same?

When does worrying about your children cross the line from normal to excessive?

I think my children would tend to say I have a tendency toward the excessive. So I would not be a good example for my children.

When someone we love is sick and we are worrying, sometimes the only action we can take is to pray and ask our friends to pray for good results. Prayer calms me. When we are waiting we can only breathe deep and realize whatever happens is out of our control. That is easy to say but not very easy to accept.

I know many people whose children have serious illnesses. I see and admire their bravery and their courage in the way they handle their life. I am sure inside they are terrified, but they chose to be a good example for their children and not let them know their fear. These parents are young, middle-aged, and elderly. Somehow they keep it together.

There is a saying, “What is going to happen is going to happen.” But let me tell you, it is not going to happen without my worrying!

“When I look back on all these worries, I remember the story of the old man who said on his deathbed that he had a lot of trouble in his life, most of which had never happened.” — Winston Churchill

“Worry often gives a small thing a big shadow.” — Unknown

“Worry is like a rocking chair-it gives you something to do, but it doesn’t get you anywhere.” — Unknown

Wells resident Julie Seedorf’s column appears every Monday. Send e-mail to her at

thecolumn@bevcomm.net.