The crack of the bat is better than the screech

Published 9:05 am Monday, June 8, 2009

I love summer. I love almost everything about summer except bats. No, I don’t mean the kind that you hit the ball with. I mean the kind of bats that are big, black and have wings and make you want to scream into the night.

They seem to show up every year somewhere in my life. This year it happened to be a work bat. At least since he was at my place of employment I assumed he was there to work and had taken the night shift.

My two co-workers were at their desks. I was crawling up the stairs with my broken foot to get to my desk and I froze. I froze because the loud screaming from my co-workers startled me. I turned around and saw the bat. My co-workers were hiding. There was nowhere for me to go. I was stuck on the steps as the bat flew from the bottom floor to the top floor almost grazing my head. My screams then matched my co-workers.

Email newsletter signup

Luckily the bat catcher from my home happened to stop in as Mr. Bat was terrorizing all of us. He dealt with the problem with courage. And I must say he also dealt with the problem with laughter, at us. What happened to sensitivity? My employer seemed to have the same reaction. We thought we should ask for hazardous duty pay but we were informed that bats are harmless. Would we rather have mosquitoes or bats? I didn’t think either choice was very good.

Why are many of us afraid of bats? I thought about that question. I googled that question. It seems the answer is that we are afraid of bats because we are ignorant. According to Google our lack of knowledge about bats makes us afraid. Some of the sources say we are afraid because of all the horror movies. Did anyone mention the word Dracula? The consensus is that we fear what we do not have knowledge of.

I’m not so sure about that consensus. Why do I not like bats? It could be that I don’t like things swooping at my head when I am not expecting it. It could be they remind me of rats. It could be that I don’t like the idea of flying animals that could possibly be living in my home or business.

Warning, do not kill a bat. It is illegal to kill bats. It is against the law! Bats are an endangered species. Bats usually only produce one offspring a year and they take extremely good care of their babies. Bats are not like rats. Rats can produce 50 young per year. Apparently each bat lives approximately 10 years in the wild. Does that mean it could live for 10 years in my house? Apparently the reason bats are so valuable is that they eat over a third of their weight in insects each night. Remember the mosquitoes that I don’t like either.

Bats do like to go to church. That is probably where the term ‘bats in your belfry” comes from. A church is a popular place to look for bats. During one church service a few years ago a bat decided to visit the graduation service. Everyone watched the bat. We sat in silence. That is the good thing sometimes crowds in church, no one wants to show their fear.

Remember we were in church and we are not supposed to be afraid in church. No one moved or screamed. I was thinking I wanted out of there but I did not want to appear chicken. If one person would have made the dash for the exit I am sure the whole congregation would have followed. A brave graduate stood up, acknowledged the bat in his speech and the bat gracefully left for the rest of the service.

He or she must have understood and just wanted a little attention. Maybe he was graduating from his senior year at bat school.

There are a few safety tips for handling bats. All bats do not have rabies. Less than 1 percent ever contract Rabies according to my Google search. However if a bat is found in your home or business always wear thick leather gloves and use a net, towel or plastic container for capturing the bat. Never catch a bat with your bare hands. If the bat does come in contact with someone with a bite or a scratch take the bat for rabies testing.

Don’t take what I say as gospel. I found out all of this googling. Check it out for yourself. Now since I am more informed and know more about bats I am supposed to be less afraid. Remember the statement “Those who fear bats are ignorant and lack knowledge.” I can’t say knowledge has helped. I still don’t like Dracula bats swooping over my head and scaring me when I least expect it. However I will keep the tennis racket close. Of course I will use it to shield my head not swoop at the bat because I certainly would not want to kill a protected animal and break the law. Did I mention I am not very co-ordinated with tennis rackets either, hiding under a chair is easier.

If you have bat stories log onto the Albert Lea Tribune and visit my column on the Web. Post your stories so we can learn and enjoy those frightening moments that bats gift us with.