Do your best. Always forgive. Speak and live the truth. Have a plan.

These are phrases that Waldorf woman Renae Groskreutz tries to live her life by.

As a mother, a wife and a friend, Groskreutz has chosen to take the tragedies in her life and turn them into teaching moments for others.

She did just that Wednesday morning during a presentation sponsored by the Freeborn County Partners in Prevention for Albert Lea High School juniors.

Her story, filled with several moments of simple honesty and raw emotion, brought many to tears.

As she told the story of nearly losing her 4 1/2-month-old baby to shaken baby syndrome and then within the same year losing her 6-year-old daughter in a drunken driving crash, she encouraged the students to be good friends and to make a plan for their lives to avoid poor choices.

At the end of the presentation, she told students they could either leave her message behind and not let it affect them, or take it with them as they walk out the door.

“Alcohol does nothing positive in anyone’s life,” Groskreutz said.

She began her presentation with a story about her friend Scott, who she said she was best friends with from kindergarten through eighth grade.

She said they were the kind of friends who would talk to each other about everything and who were always there for each other.

They started at a small school with only eight people in their class but eventually moved on to a school with a class of 80.

A short while after, her friend Scott started smoking.

Later he started drinking, and before long he was drinking every day of the week, she said.

“He said, ‘Everybody’s doing it,’” Groskreutz said. He was trying to fit in.

He went from being an athletic, friendly person their freshman year to being a person with yellow teeth, a beer belly, bruises and hair that was falling out by their senior year, she said.

“It was the alcohol that changed him,” she said.

She noted she would do anything to be back in her junior year — like the students who were listening to the presentation — to help Scott with his problem.

“Best thing you can do if a friend has a Scott sort of life, you have to give them help,” Groskreutz said. “They have to think ahead, develop an escape plan.”

She went on, explaining the history of her marriage to her husband, Joel, and the births of their children.

She said in 1998, her son, Benjamin, was born. He was a colicky baby who continuously cried.

When she went back to work, Ben went to a day care provider, who was her best friend.

One day, she received a call.

“Something’s wrong with Ben,” her friend said.

When Groskreutz went to pick him up, his eyes were rolling back and forth, and he had vomit all over him, she said.

The doctors told her it was just the flu.

But then she said she received a second call days later from her day care provider, who said she didn’t think Ben was breathing.

At the hospital, doctors told her that her son was brain-damaged, blind and that every single one of his ribs was broken. His brain had disconnected from the skull.

They told her this was the result of shaken baby syndrome.

“I couldn’t accept that fact,” Groskreutz said. “The thought just killed me that somebody violently picked him up and shook him.”

Doctors told her Ben would be mentally challenged, never walk and never talk.

What’s worse was that authorities were charging her with the crime.

Later, her best friend — Ben’s day care provider — confessed to shaking the baby twice.

She was eventually charged with felony child endangerment and was ordered to restitution and probation.

If that weren’t difficult enough to handle, within that same year Groskreutz’s 6-year-old daughter, Emily, died after being struck by a drunken driver and her husband was severly injured.

The driver was her grade school friend, Scott.

“He always told me it wasn’t going to hurt anyone, that everyone was doing it to fit in,” Groskreutz said.

Now, Scott has lost his farm, his truck and his business, and he’s been divorced twice.

“His drinking has taken his life,” she said. At one point, he’s even tried to take his own life.

“We had forgiven him, but he’s had a hard time accepting that,” she added.

The room was silent other than some sniffles as Groskreutz told her story.

“I hope they learn that every decision they make affects their entire life,” said Alice Englin with Freeborn County Partners in Prevention. “I hope they felt what Renae had to go through and they won’t make those choices and have to go through that.”

Groskreutz’s presentation at Albert Lea High School followed several other presentations in the area during the month of September. She has also spoken at Alden-Conger, Glenville-Emmons, Southwest Middle and the Area Learning Center.

She has spoken in North Dakota, South Dakota, Iowa, Minnesota and Wisconsin.

Student responses received from local students who saw the presentation called Renae “a hero.”

“I thought it was brave of Renae to tell us about that story,” one response stated.

“I think Renae’s message was very powerful and sad,” another stated. “I think her message also showed a lot of people that the (outcomes) of drinking could be way worse than a hangover.”