Once upon a time, I wrote letters to family and friends. As a student in Germany for a year, as I moved away from home for grad school, as a newly married man, as a parent — at all those times I wrote letters. Oh, I used the telephone, but that was more expensive and even when I knew the person at the other end, I didn’t like talking on the telephone. It’s not logical, but I didn’t “reach out and touch” people via the phone like others did — not then, and not now.

Now, however, I don’t write letters (and I still don’t use our landline or my cell phone the way others do). Instead, I’ve been “Facebooking” friends and relatives or using Google’s e-mail service to stay in touch. Like so many others (millions of users at this point) I’ve discovered that Facebook and Gmail are great ways to communicate, when they’re not abused with rants, stalking or other kinds of online stupidity.

So for the past couple of years with Facebook and Gmail, I’ve been able to reconnect with classmates from high school and stay more closely connected with family and friends scattered all over the world. With Facebook’s online photo albums I’ve shared family moments, the latest cute images of our cats and the icicles hanging off of the edge of the roof. From friends and family, I’ve gotten news of births, weddings, divorces and deaths. We’ve shared, admittedly in a virtual way, a small part of our lives with each other.

More recently, however, I’ve become increasingly skeptical of every technology company I am connected with and their obsession with controlling everything I do online. I’m not surprised with Microsoft’s behavior; they’ve engaged in monopolistic practices for years. But Google, Apple and Facebook? Why is it so important for them to control everything?

Google is a great search engine. It’s not the only one available; it’s not even the only one I use, but it has always served the purpose for which I use it — finding things via the Internet. Google’s e-mail service isn’t quite as amazing as its search engine, but it’s good enough. Lately, though, it seems Google Inc. wants to control everything — from the devices we use to the software that runs the device to the software that allows us to connect to our online world. The latest message I got from Google was about a new service called Buzz, which is a direct competitor with Facebook. Now we can log on to Google and never leave!

Apple is pretty much the same way. So much for the “little innovative computer company” standing up to Big Bad Microsoft. That image almost seems quaint today. I don’t use that many Apple products on a regular basis, but I keep hearing from colleagues and students about Apple’s control of downloads from iTunes (only Apple devices work well, apparently) and all those so-called “apps” for the iPhone and new iPad. They also want to be the hardware and software choice for every task.

Facebook also has “apps” that demonstrate a desire to have even more influence over what I do and where I go online. For example, millions of people are addicted to Bejeweled Blitz or visit Farmville each day. Farmville lets them grow nonexistent fruits and vegetables, feed non-existent livestock, and make nonexistent profits on everything they harvest. If they get impatient with their progress, they can use a real world credit card to buy virtual essentials. I got suckered in to a related “app” called Fishville, and have a nonexistent fish tank filled with nonexistent fish. I even named some of them. Pathetic. I definitely feel like a sucker, and not of the aquatic variety. In order to keep those nonexistent fish “alive” (whatever that means), I log in to Facebook every day in order to feed them some pixels. You get what you pay for, I guess.

The question remains: Why is it so important to claim everything? Why do so many technology companies go down the path toward monopoly? Why isn’t it enough to offer a really good service or product and leave it at that? Is it really just the advertising dollars they don’t want to share? Is it something more significant than that? Is it something more sinister?

I really don’t know, but since these kinds of tools are going to be with us from now on, it’s worth looking for an answer.

Albert Lea resident David Rask Behling teaches at Waldorf College in Forest City, Iowa, and lives with his wife and children in Albert Lea. His column appears every other Tuesday.