Angie Barker, Entertain Me

You have a new friend request.

These words only exist on Facebook. In reality, people don’t request to be your friend. They work their way into your confidence through common interests and trust. Having friends takes commitment and hard work. You open your schedule up to them. Listen to their complaints, stories and fears. You share in their happiness and shoulder their burdens, especially if that burden involves a sampler platter. Mark Zuckerberg may not be sharing a platter of delicious samples with anyone.

The new movie “The Social Network” that opened on Oct. 1 explains why. Zuckerberg is the socially awkward genius who created Facebook as a sophomore at Harvard and became the world’s youngest billionaire. Everyone who feels like an underachiever raise your hand. To everyone who actually raised their hand, this would be a prime example of why you aren’t a billionaire. I’m putting my hand down now.

Unfriend.

Unfriend was the 2009 New Oxford American Dictionary Word of the Year. Dropping Facebook friends is as easy as Staples claims, with the push of a button. Did your long-lost best friend from second grade turn out to be crazy? Unfriend. Is your ex-boyfriend getting a little too reminisce-y? Unfriend. Zuckerberg is on good terms with his button, even if he’s not with his college buddies…most of who have sued him. Eduardo Saverin was Zuckerberg’s best friend until he was pushed out of the company by Napster cofounder Sean Parker. (Dear Lars Ulrich, I owe you an apology. Apparently, Parker is a thief.) Unfriend. Then there are the Winklevoss twins, Tyler and Cameron, and Divya Narendra who were classmates that claimed they hired Zuckerberg to work on a website similar to Facebook. Unfriend. Unfriend. Unfriend. The story is like a Greek tragedy once money got involved. The man who created the world’s largest social network can’t keep friends.

News feed.

The definition of news is “recent and important events.” News may be a subjective term, but I don’t think being bored, tired or cranky qualify. That’s not news; it’s a nine-year-old on summer vacation. The hourly location updates are only helpful to those in the B & E biz and hating Mondays is not newsworthy even to Garfield, though he can sympathize. This is how you drop news. “The Social Network” is loosely based on the book by Ben Mezrich, “The Accidental Billionaires”. The screenplay was written by the amazing Aaron Sorkin (“Sports Night” and “The West Wing”) and directed by David Fincher (“The Curious Case of Benjamin Button” and the upcoming “Girl with the Dragon Tattoo”). One in 14 people worldwide have a Facebook account. People spend more time on Facebook than any other Internet site. In August, 41.4 million minutes, or 9.9 percent of total online time was spent on Facebook. That’s more than Google, which included their other sites like Gmail and YouTube.

Comment.

I like. “The Social Network” is worth two hours away from walls, pokes, and borrowing people fertilizer. Besides you don’t want to be the only one not posting what’s on your mind regarding this movie. “Angie Zoller Barker is loving “Social Network” and Junior Mints.”

Albert Lea resident Angie Zoller Barker’s column appears every Monday in the Albert Lea Tribune. Email questions, recommendations, or comments to entertainmecolumn@gmail.com.