Angie Barker, Entertain Me

The single greatest moment of my life is reserved for my cleaning lady and the day she was hired. Even now, just thinking about it, I am helpless to stop the chain of events that end with me leaning back, eyes closed, hands crossed over my waist, grinning like a fool. Forget Calgon, all I need is a weekly house cleaning.

If I were a poet I would write sonnets in her honor, if I were a lyricist I would write songs of her achievements, if I were an entertainment columnist I would write about my love while attempting to be humorous in a public forum. Since I can’t do any of those things well, I will have to settle for giving her a check. At least until I convince her to work for songs and poems.

My cleaning lady admiration comes from the same place as my obsession with the show “Hoarders.” I like things to have a place and for those things to be in that place. Really in the scheme of life that’s not asking too much. It’s not like I’m obsessive just, because I may not sleep when the house is in disarray. It’s easier to just get up and put away the clutter so sweet sleep will come. That’s not obsessive. It’s not.

“Hoarders” airs Monday nights on A&E at 9 p.m. and is worth the DVR space. The hour-long episode features two different people who are compulsive hoarders. Until I stumbled upon this show I didn’t know what a compulsive hoarder was or that it was an illness. Hoarders excessively buy, keep, rummage, and/or collect possessions that are have no value and usually are unhealthy. They stack the items in every room from floor to ceiling until the useable portion of their homes is a single room, more often than not, a chair with a path to it. The disease interferes with everyday activities like cooking and sleeping.

The show “Hoarders” (not to be confused with “Hoarding: Buried Alive” on TLC, because that show is terrible) treats the illness with the seriousness it deserves. Most hoarders would not allow a camera crew to invade their homes without being in dire straits. Their inability to throw anything away has placed them on the cusp of a personal crisis. Some instances have included the threat of losing their children, jail time, fines, or their house being condemned. These are intense situations and A&E gives these people the resources they need including a professional organizer, a cleanup crew and a licensed psychologist. They also provide them with aftercare therapy.

The show does all the work so we as viewers don’t have to feel guilty about our voyeurism; which is really nice of them because I can’t stop watching. This obsession I will own up to.

Albert Lea resident Angie Zoller Barker’s column appears every Monday in the Albert Lea Tribune. Email questions, recommendations, or comments to entertainmecolumn@gmail.com.