Column: Jon Laging, Talking Sports

It’s time for the annual tradition of awarding Christmas gifts to those individuals, teams and groups that deserve to be on the gift list. There are gifts that are awarded most sincerely and there are gifts that don’t fall in that category. I’ll let you be the judge of which is which.

Ron Gardenhire, Twins’ manager gets Japanese lessons.

Suyoshi Nishioka, new Twins’ infielder gets English lessons.

Carl Pavano, Twin’s pitcher gets a three-year contract with the Twins.

Minnesota Twins get one-year contract with Pavano.

Minnesota Twins get an October/New York Yankees flu epidemic.

J.J. Hardy, Twins’ ex-shortstop gets our best wishes.

Danny Valencia, Twins’ third baseman, gets a 2010 season in 2011.

Dernard Span, Twins’ centerfielder, gets a 2009 season in 2011.

Micheal Cuddyer, Twins’ right fielder, gets the same as above.

Joe Mauer, Twins’ catcher, gets a financial advisor.

Justin Morneau, Twins’ first baseman, gets a complete recovery.

Francisco Liriano, Twins’ pitcher, gets to be as good as everyone thinks he can.

Joe Nathan, Twins’ closer, gets a large welcome back.

Orlando Hudson, Twins’ second baseman, gets less coffee.

Tim Brewster, ex-Gophers head football coach, gets realization that it is just a game.

Brad Childress, ex-Vikings’ head coach, gets a nice vacation.

Ralph Sampson III, the Gophers basketball center, gets fire in the belly.

Al Nolen, Gophers basketball point guard, gets two Dr. Scholl’s foot pads.

President Barack Obama gets patience.

Governer Tim Pawlenty… who?

Fox News gets 24-hour coverage of Sarah Palin.

The United States gets a progressive third party.

All our troops get a safe return home.

All of my loved ones and friends get a merry Christmas and happy New Year.

All, and especially my readers, get happy holidays, peace on earth and goodwill.