Across the Pastor’s Desk

By the Rev. Nancy Overgaard, Chaplain at Thorne Crest Retirement Community

Serving as chaplain in a retirement community has heightened my awareness of how bleak the final season of life can be. Bereaved of parents, spouses, siblings, lifelong friends, at times even children and grandchildren, seniors of advanced age live with heartache few of us can imagine. Widows and widowers, who lovingly cared for spouses as their health declined, may have to face their own debilitating losses without the benefit of such a doting caregiver. As eyesight, hearing and mobility fail, so does the joy of living. Where can enough comfort be found to compensate for such extensive losses?

The Book of Ruth, a story of two women who faced overwhelming losses in life, sheds light on some things we all can do to ease the suffering of another. Naomi, a widow bereft of both sons, is hardly recognizable by neighbors when she returns to her native land. Forced by famine to emigrate with her husband and two sons, she returns aged, grief stricken, embittered. Her profile is reminiscent of the stunningly beautiful “Afghan Girl,” photographed by Steve McCurry and featured on the cover of National Geographic in 1984. Photographed again after 17 years in a refugee camp, she is almost unrecognizable. The light has gone out of her eyes and her face is lined with sadness, anger, disappointment with life. Blaming God for her staggering losses, Naomi seems on the brink of losing her faith along with everything else.

The plight of Naomi’s daughter-in-law, Ruth, may be even worse. Widowed, childless, unskilled, unemployed and financially destitute Ruth is a foreigner whose ethnic group is despised in the land to which she has come. Undeterred, Ruth seeks to be allowed to pick up leftover grain missed by harvesters in the field of a stranger, so desperate is hers and Naomi’s situation.

By God’s grace, Ruth happens on the field of the godly Boaz, a relative of Naomi. What Boaz offers Ruth is simple. On one level, he extends modest, practical assistance: the opportunity to glean in his field, water to quench her thirst, bread and wine vinegar at lunch. On another level, he offers protection from anyone who might seek to harm Ruth, recognizing her vulnerability. On a still deeper level, what Boaz offers Ruth is acceptance, respect and dignity. Looking past her humble situation, he accepts her as she is, recognizes her inner beauty and invites her, not just to share his food, but to eat at his table. He requires his workers to treat her with respect. He recognizes and affirms her for all she has done for Naomi and invokes God’s blessing on her.

These simple gestures meet not just physical needs Ruth has, but her deepest emotional and spiritual needs. She responds not just with gratitude, but exclaims, “You have comforted me!” The impact on Naomi may be even more dramatic. These small acts of kindness on the part of Boaz seem to pull Naomi out of her despondency, rekindle hope and even restore her faith in God.

During my time as a pastor in Upstate New York, I witnessed firsthand how powerful a few simple gestures can be. Church youth chose as a project to visit a widow estranged from the church and marginalized in the community. As they approached her door with the fruit basket they had prepared, she began to sob, so touched was she by their gesture. They exclaimed in astonishment as we returned to the van, “We sure didn’t expect that!” The visit changed not only her life but theirs as they returned again and again to help her.

In ancient times, particular “forms of comfort” were prescribed for “the elderly, the dying, the bereaved, the separated, exiles and victims of injustice or handicaps.” Comforting others was considered the “duty” of all. In the Bible it is deemed an honor. What was thought to be most comforting? Personal presence, visits and letters top the list, followed by comforting readings and reassuring words. Christians, recognizing God as the supreme source comfort, add encouraging Scriptures and prayer. As in the case of Boaz, they are simple gestures with a potentially profound effect.

Might I encourage you to make such a visit? That visit could deeply impact a life, and it may not just be theirs!