Dear Leah,

My boyfriend doesn’t believe in Valentine’s Day — he says that it’s just an excuse for stores to sell junk to people that they really don’t need. I love and appreciate him, but sometimes I wish he would be a little romantic and celebrate with me in some way. I mean, there are two people in this relationship — doesn’t it matter what I want too?

— No Cupid for this Girl

 

Dear No Cupid,

There is no denying that Valentine’s Day has grown to be a lot of hype, just like any other marketable holiday. Your boyfriend has a good point, and I can understand why he doesn’t want to buy in (both figuratively and literally) to the consumerism that happens this time of year. I personally get a little sick of all of the red and pink — yet it also does brighten up a very bleak time of year.

Though your boyfriend has a right to his opinions, it does not serve as a good excuse to ignore your need for romantic moments with him.

You may need to find some compromise about when to celebrate your relationship throughout the year, since he is so against Valentine’s Day itself. Some couples choose to celebrate half-anniversaries or celebrate every month. Certain couples ensure they have a date night every week where they take time together to do something fun.

Romance is not all about roses, chocolate and candy — your boyfriend may have different ways of expressing his affection for you. Helping with chores may sound boring to you now, but it is actually very romantic — especially if you have lived together or been married for a while. It shows you are partners and that he is committed to a life with you.

If you are patient, you may experience more romance as you continue in your relationship together.

Men can get increasingly sentimental over time and will display little acts of affection.

To answer your last question, it certainly does matter what you want. You can try dropping little hints to him — some men have no clue about what women appreciate and will benefit from specific suggestions for gifts or ways to spend quality time together.

Give him a chance — let him know that a little romance matters to you, he just might surprise you!

 

Leah Albert is a fictitious character. She likes wine and writing. Don’t ask her to be a matchmaker. Do send your questions to Leah at theniceadviceleahalbert@gmail.com.