Dear Leah,

Every year around Mother’s Day I get forgotten or I just get a generic card. I know it’s not the only way my family should show me they love me and we have a happy life together. I just feel so unappreciated for everything I do every day. It would be nice if this one day I could have something special.

— Invisible

 

Dear Invisible,

I want to tell you that you are most certainly not invisible and you are very much appreciated. Mothers make the world go ’round.

I think what happens most often is mothers are appreciated when they are not around. So much of a mother’s work is quiet work that can go unnoticed.

It’s not that your family doesn’t appreciate you; they just cannot fathom a life without you! Think about the times there isn’t food in the house or they can’t find a particular piece of clothing or homework needs to get done. Those are the times a family turns to the mother in desperation. Yes, it’s usually not with love and admiration, but it’s telling that they could not survive without you. They need you.

Really, Mother’s Day is one day out of the year and it tends to be a great way for businesses to make a lot of money. It isn’t as important for people to show appreciation on a particular day of the year as it is to show appreciation every day.

I think the more appropriate day to celebrate mother’s day should be each child’s birthday. These are the days you became a mother and should be celebrated — along with the father!

A family birthday celebration would serve as a reminder to our children that they are here because of the love of two people. Perhaps this would help tone down the really extravagant parties that are happening — children don’t need all the stuff; they just need to know they are loved, and so do we.

In our self-centered world, it is important to recognize the partnerships that exist, starting with the partnership that is our family. We are not separate individuals living in the same home — we are a unit, working together every day to hopefully build a better world. That is pretty special.

And you are pretty special. Without you, your family wouldn’t be possible.

It always helps to tell people what you want. Most mothers really appreciate a few hours of quiet or extra time in the morning to sleep in. You can feel free to request this of your family — and not just on Mother’s Day or the day you choose to celebrate as a family, but any day you need a little extra rest.

It’s exhausting to be a mother, or a father, or anyone who is the primary caretaker — anyone who is acting as the “mother.” It’s an important role and one that is very much needed in our world. You are valued, you are loved! Happy Mother’s Day, every day!

 

Leah Albert is a fictitious character. She likes wine and writing. Don’t ask her to be a matchmaker. Do send your questions to Leah at theniceadviceleahalbert@gmail.com.