Dear Leah,

The warm weather is here, but I’m not feeling excited about it. I gained a lot of weight over the winter, and just don’t feel comfortable wearing things like tank tops or shorts. I feel ashamed of my bigger body. People look at me with disgust. I feel like I can’t eat out at a restaurant without being judged. My self-esteem is just gone. I think I am dealing with some depression, but I want with all my heart to get out and enjoy life again. Help!

Signed,

Summer Time Blues

 

Dear Summer,

First things first: You are beautiful, just the way you are!

I could call you Blues, but I see the warm light in you. Very much like summer! Step outside and take a look around. People come in all shapes and sizes. And we all just go about our lives doing the best we can at that moment.

You say you want to get out and enjoy life again. So do it! If you enjoy walking trails, walk them. Take in the scenery and breathe in the fresh air. If it makes you feel better, invite a friend to join you. And be honest. Tell your friend why you’d like the company. Sometimes just talking about the way we’re feeling, instead of bottling it up, is enough to spark change.

If you are worried sharing your feelings would be a burden or a downer for your friend, don’t. In my opinion, having someone I care for open up to me about things like depression is an honor. You may also be creating the opportunity for your friend to share with you.

I’ve always found it interesting that the things that will make us feel better are sometimes the hardest to do when you’re in a rut. I’d tell you to get up and work out. Exercise boosts your serotonin and your confidence. But I know better.

When you’re dealing with depression and low self-esteem, you’re not going to just get up and go run a marathon (although that would be awesome!). You’re going to start with one step. And boy, that step is a tough one. So when you do it, be sure to celebrate it. And celebrate each step after that.

It’s through recognizing all of your accomplishments, big or small, that you are going to start building confidence. Confidence will lead to self-acceptance, and one day you’ll look back on this experience with gratitude. Turn your face to the warm, summer sun and the shadows fall behind you. Take care!

 

Leah Albert is a fictitious character. She likes wine and writing. Don’t ask her to be a matchmaker. Do send your questions to Leah at theniceadviceleahalbert@gmail.com.