Nose for News, By Sarah Stultz

Sarah Stultz is the managing editor of the Tribune. Her column appears every Tuesday.

This past weekend, my family and I spent a few days 3 1/2 hours northeast of Albert Lea in a place called Faith’s Lodge in Danbury, Wisconsin.

Faith’s Lodge was created by Mark and Susan Lacek, whose daughter Faith died two weeks before her due date in 2000. She was the victim of an umbilical cord accident.

The couple created the facility, which opened in 2007, to help other families coping with the death or medically complex condition of a child and to honor their daughter so her name and memory would live on. There is programming, including professionally-led discussion groups, arts and crafts, and other outdoor opportunities.

We got the opportunity to attend Faith’s Lodge thanks to a group of wonderful friends from my Noon Kiwanis Club who sponsored our trip after the unexpected death of our daughter, Sophie, last July.

When we left our house in Albert Lea and packed up to go to this lodge, I was hoping simply for an enjoyable time to get away for a few days and to relax from the woes of everyday life.

We met six other families who had also lost children sometime in the last year or two from everything from cancer, to an ATV crash, to sudden sickness, to other causes. Some were younger than Sophie when they died, and some were older.

Each of the families shared stories and memories about their children over the few days we were there, and by the end, we felt a special connection to each of them. Through all of the parents and siblings, we felt like we had known all of these precious children.

Coming into this experience knowing what our family has gone through, it was comforting yet somewhat heartbreaking to interact with these other families. 

These parents knew exactly the feelings we have endured, and we could talk with them about our raw feelings without judgment.

I thought about how Sophie’s crash came up out of nowhere. Other parents had months and years of sickness in their children before they ultimately passed away. Though different, I learned that each is equally difficult to endure.

One thing that stood out to me was all of the good that each of these families has experienced in the aftermath of their child’s deaths and how many of them are planning events and doing things in their child’s memory. It got me thinking of things we would like to do in Sophie’s memory such as a scholarship or an annual tradition to keep her memory alive. 

While we were there, we had the chance to take part in several art projects. Art has always been something I have enjoyed, and it was therapeutic to take part in. 

We each painted stones in memory of our children and left them on one of the trails or in the other outdoor areas on the property.

My husband painted the character Joy from the Disney-Pixar movie “Inside Out.” Joy was the protagonist in the movie and one of five emotions represented in the mind of a little 11-year-old girl. Joy was optimistic and always wanted to help the girl be happy.

It was a fitting character to paint as Sophie was — and still is — one of our major joys in life.

I walked away from the weekend with many lessons learned. Of those lessons, I learned there are many different ways to grieve, and no way is better than another.

It’s also OK to cry. It’s OK to remember, and above all, it’s OK to smile in the midst of grief.