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Every Little Thing by April Jeppson

 

Anyone else waiting to wake up? Like this can’t be real and I must be dreaming, so when the heck am I going to wake up?

I have moments that feel very carefree — very 2019 as I’ve been lovingly referring to them. I’m at the office working. I’m snuggled up with my kids watching a show. I’m on the phone with my girlfriend letting her vent about her high-energy toddler. These little snapshots of my life are seemingly normal and exactly how they should be.

Then I realize I need to go to the store for milk, and I’m instantly pulled back into reality. Any time I’m driving, it’s glaringly obvious how empty the roads are. Walking with my kids, and we come across someone else coming towards us on the path. When I need to go into a store or gas station, I see the masks or notice the extreme lack thereof. Anytime I start to forget what’s happening in the world around me, it’s only a matter of minutes before I’m reminded.

I think I’ve been adjusting nicely. It’s taken a lot of time and energy for me to get here. I’ve had to learn how to let things go. I’ve had to learn to be sad or angry and realize that it’s OK to have these feelings. I’ve had to allow myself grace. I’ve had to give grace to others in truckloads.

Just because I’m having a good day, doesn’t mean my co-worker is. Just because I’m having 45 minutes of peace, doesn’t mean the gas station attendant is. I’ve learned that we all deal with stress differently. Some people cry. Others get angry or distant. Some cope with humor while others cope with food. So when I know that I’ve done nothing wrong, and yet I get giant eye roll from someone, I don’t take it personally. I let it slide. We are all going through something that none of us have ever gone through.

There is no guidebook or class we can take to tell us what we’re supposed to do. We are all guessing and doing a lot of trial and error until we find a way that’s comfortable. What works for me, might not work for you. Heck, what’s been working for me, might not actually be working for me at all. I mean, I’m not sure how gaining 10 pounds is going to solve any of my problems, but it’s the path I’ve chosen.

Perhaps someday we’ll all wake up and this will be just a memory. Or perhaps there will be reminders of this time for years to come. Sneeze guards still up at the grocery store. The ingrained desire to wash my hands every 30 minutes. Feeling odd standing too close to my friends. I don’t know how this is going to pan out.

I do know that we can all do a little better at being nicer to each other. Just because we’re stressed, doesn’t give us permission to be rude to each other. It’s understandable and forgivable, but I think there’s a better way. I’m not sure how you’re dealing with all of this, and I really hope this column finds you well. Please take an extra moment and just breathe. Life is short. This too shall pass. Be kind.

Albert Lean April Jeppson is a wife, mom, coach and encourager of dreams.