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Every Little Thing by April Jeppson

People assume that because I’m an extrovert, I want to be around people all the time. That I wake up in the morning ready to host a talk show, spend the entire day laughing with friends, and then tuck myself in at night after one last phone call to discuss how great it was to see everyone. And yes — some days, that’s pretty accurate. But other days? Other days, I have to dodge phone calls like I’m in the Matrix.

It turns out, even extroverts have a social battery. And despite popular belief, that battery isn’t endlessly rechargeable by just being around people. A study from the University of Helsinki found that while extroverts do gain energy from social interactions, prolonged or overly stimulating social settings can still lead to burnout — especially if those interactions aren’t particularly fulfilling. (Which explains why a fun dinner with my best friends leaves me energized, but a work meeting that should’ve been an email drains my will to live.)

The term “social battery” gets thrown around a lot, but the basic idea is that we all have a certain amount of energy we can dedicate to social interactions. Introverts, famously, deplete theirs faster. They need alone time to recharge, like a phone that can only be powered up by plugging it into a quiet, book-filled room. But extroverts? We charge in a different way — through connection, laughter and deep conversations. However, we can also overuse our battery.

Have you ever been at a social event and just hit a wall? You’re mid-conversation, nodding along, but inside your brain is buffering. Your responses become a mix of polite smiles and vague “mmhmms,” and you start thinking about how good your couch sounds. That’s an extrovert on 5% battery.

And when we hit that low-power mode? We disappear. An introvert will politely bow out, say they need some alone time and retreat gracefully. An extrovert, however, vanishes into thin air. No goodbye, no explanation — just poof. We were here, and now we are not. (There should be a scientific study on how quickly an extrovert can Irish Goodbye when their social battery dies. I’d be a case study.)

So how do we fix this? How do we manage our social energy without running ourselves into the ground? The answer is balance. And snacks. But mostly balance. Extroverts need to recognize that not all social interactions are created equal. Some fuel us. Some drain us. Some seem fine until suddenly we’re hiding in a bathroom, scrolling our phones to recover.

The best way to recharge? Intentional alone time, preferably without guilt. A walk, a good book, a binge-worthy show where nobody expects you to talk. Because as much as we love people, sometimes we need to be alone just long enough to miss them again.

And if you ever see me mid-event, staring off into the distance with a glazed-over expression? Just know — I’m not mad, I’m just at 1%. Send snacks.

Albert Lean April Jeppson is a wife, mom, coach and encourager of dreams. Her column appears every Saturday.