Al, Author at Albert Lea Tribune

Columnists

Al Batt: I’ll let the moon shine down my throat after Thanksgiving

That’s what I’ll do if I ever get hungry again after Thanksgiving. Instead of eating, I’ll let the moon shine down my throat. Read more

by Al Batt, Tuesday, November 23, 2021 8:45 pm

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Al Batt: Knowledge is power and Francis is Bacon I hear

I could have waited but I couldn’t wait. Read more

by Al Batt, Tuesday, November 9, 2021 8:45 pm

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Al Batt: The TV ran all over us and left laugh tracks behind

The TV looked down haughtily at me from its lofty perch as I sat in a waiting room, lingering in an uncomfortable chair. Service was ... Read more

by Al Batt, Tuesday, October 26, 2021 8:45 pm

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Al Batt: They made haste slowly, were laughing when police arrived

Like Don Quixote, I fight imaginary villains. I needed to do a few electronic signatures. This resulted in a series of blunders and frustrations. I ... Read more

by Al Batt, Tuesday, October 19, 2021 8:45 pm

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Al Batt: He died in a tragic sock accident and why I like to wear sandals

I asked my father for further details on his 70th birthday, but it was too soon. He couldn’t talk about it. My great-grandfather’s unfortunate demise ... Read more

by Al Batt, Tuesday, October 12, 2021 8:46 pm

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Al Batt: It’s a case of Colorado Rocky Mountain high jinks

I walked on a moonless night when no star dared twinkle. It was as dark as a dark cloud with a dark secret. Read more

by Al Batt, Tuesday, October 5, 2021 8:45 pm

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Al Batt: The interest rate is high when you borrow trouble

We talked all afternoon and never ran out of things to say. It was a Mayberry moment on a front porch. Read more

by Al Batt, Tuesday, September 28, 2021 8:45 pm

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Al Batt: Have you ever accidentally misspelled your own name?

It’s nice to have a name you can remember. Read more

by Al Batt, Tuesday, September 21, 2021 8:45 pm

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Al Batt: Baw boomp ba — are you ready for the arrival of fall?

I tossed the ball against the wall, caught it on one hop and then threw it again. The small, yellow stress ball promoting Iowa Lakes ... Read more

by Al Batt, Tuesday, September 14, 2021 8:45 pm

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Al Batt: I can still fit into my old school classroom

My primary school class was made of equal amounts of good intentions and mischief. Naps were supposed to settle us down, but just as we’d ... Read more

by Al Batt, Tuesday, September 7, 2021 8:45 pm

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Al Batt: Do UFOs believe in you?

Tales from Exit 22 by Al Batt “A dark night in a city that knows how to keep its secrets, but one man is still ... Read more

by Al Batt, Tuesday, August 31, 2021 10:49 pm

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Al Batt: What part of “uffda” don’t you understand?

Tales from Exit 22 by Al Batt Boy, howdy! I’d been contentedly looking at myself from the inside. Then my alarm exploded at 4 a.m. I usually ... Read more

by Al Batt, Tuesday, August 24, 2021 8:45 pm

Columnists

Al Batt: The Flatulent Donkeys sang ‘Tears in my goulash’

Tales from Exit 22 by Al Batt “Do you like flying squirrels?” “I don’t know, I’ve never flown one,” I told the inquiring caller. Flying ... Read more