Column: Has the football season started? I must have missed it

Published 12:00 am Monday, October 10, 2005

OK everybody, take a big deep breathe &045; aah, it’s fall.

I love the fall season. Ever since I was a child, it has been my favorite season. I’m not sure if it is the vibrant colors of the leaves changing, the crisp cooler air or the fact that the World Series, college football and the NFL are all starting, but fall or autumn has always been dear to me.

Now that the leaves are starting to change and the World Series is around the corner, I am patiently waiting for the NFL season to arrive. I think once the Packers and Vikings start their seasons it will feel more like fall.

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You say they did start their seasons? When? Maybe I am missing something, but I do not remember the football season starting.

I remember hearing about training camps and how the Vikings were going to be good this season and how the Packers would be strong as always. The experts said the division title probably would be between those two powerhouses and that the Lions and Bears would be improved but I don’t remember much after that.

&8221;Are they on strike?&8220; I asked a friend of mine.

&8221;No, they both just suck,&8220; was his response.

Can it be that my Packers, with Brett Favre, Ahman Green, Donald Driver and the rest of the division winning Packers suck?

Can the Vikings with all of the talent they added in the off-season combined with Dante Culpepper, Corey Chavous and others really suck?

Maybe this is all a dream and I will wake up and it will be the start of the NFL season and everything will be OK again.

Maybe it is all a farce, a big joke. Our teams really can not be that bad, can they?

OK, I have a plan to make this season better. Whoever wins the first regular season match-up between the Packers and the Vikings gets five wins added to its record. Whoever wins the second regular season game gets five wins added to its record. Now, in case of a tie at the end of the season, both teams will be put through a series of tests. The following three tests would be perfect for breaking ties.

Rubik’s Cube &045; If you remember this fad from the 1980s, you will also remember that it is pretty hard. Didn’t everyone seem to have a friend that could do it in less than two minutes while the rest of us just got frustrated and chucked it against the wall?

Spelling bee &045; I think it would be fun to watch a spelling bee with NFL players. I can see it now &045; the winner would be the one who correctly spelled the word &8221;dog.&8220;

Chutes and Ladders &045; Anyone with children will remember this game of skill. What could be a better way to test the ability of an NFL team?

These tests are fair to both teams and would again peak everyone’s interest in this huge rivalry.

The team to win two out of three of the tie breakers would be the winner of the Packer-Viking showdown and your fans could gloat proudly in the off-season.

As a true die-hard Packer fan, I would be remiss if I didn’t remind Vikings fans that no matter how bad each team plays the rest of the season, the Packers have won three Super Bowls and the Vikings have not.

Let the joke-telling and trash-talking begin &045; this Packer fan can take it.