My neighbor Crandall stops by.&160;

&8220;How are you doing?&8221; I ask.

&8220;Oh, I feel like a two-headed man with a severe headache. I’m spending another day in the ranks of the unemployed. It’s hard to find a job in my size. I don’t know what this world is coming to.

The other day, someone broke into my house and stole all of my Holiday Inn towels. Then I got kicked out of the cafe yesterday. There’s a sign in the bathroom there that says employees

must wash hands, but they wouldn’t wash mine. You could have knocked me over with a fender. What’s up with you?&8221;

&8220;The heat,&8221; I reply.

&8220;Is that what cleverness has been reduced to?

See this little piece of skin between my nose and

my upper lip?&160; I’ve been working so hard looking for a job that it’s the only part of my body that doesn’t hurt.&8221;

&8220;You should see a doctor,&8221; I say.

&8220;Oh, I did go to see Doc Splint Eastwood.&160; He put me right into expensive care. I was worrying about my hearing. I told him that I could barely hear myself cough. Doc gave me some kind of prescription. I asked him if it would make me hear better. He said, &8220;No, but it will make you cough louder.&8221;

The European Starling

I heard a meadowlark the other day.

It was calling in my yard&045;from a tree.

It wasn’t really a meadowlark, It was a call done by a clever mimic called the European Starling.

Starlings are able to copy the sound of ringing telephones, doorbells, human voices, countless

birdcalls, and car alarms.

Back in the late 1800s, there was a group called the American Acclimatization Society that had decided that the United States should have every bird that was mentioned in any of William

Shakespeare’s plays.&160; In &8220;Henry IV,&8221; the Bard of Avon wrote, &8220;I’ll have a starling shall be taught

to speak nothing but &8216;Mortimer.’&8221;&160; With that as his inspiration, an AAS member named Eugene

Scheiffelin released 60 starlings in New York’s Central Park in 1890.&160; He released 40 more the

next year.&160; Skylarks, thrushes, nightingales, and bullfinches were released, but did not survive.&160;

The starlings, on the other hand, did well.&160; There are 200 million or more of them on this continent.&160; The starling has been featured in the music of Mozart and Franz Schubert.&160; Mozart kept a starling as a house pet.

A flock of starlings is called a murmuration.&160; Other collective nouns are a quarrel for House Sparrows and a charm of goldfinches., &160;

Civet Cats redux

Why don’t we see spotted skunks (civet cats) in Minnesota anymore? Things have changed. There

isn’t much stored ear corn in cribs that attracted prey items for the skunks. Much of the oak

savanna prairie has disappeared. I found the spray of the spotted skunk was worse than that of

the common striped skunk. I once crawled under a truck in pursuit of a civet cat and was sprayed.&160; My mother gave me a bath in tomato juice. My father said that I smelled like skunk that had fallen into Tomato Juice Lake.

Spiders

Every year there are people in Minnesota who believe that have been bitten by a brown recluse

spider. This diagnosis is based on the presence of a necrotic wound or &8220;bite&8221; (a lesion with

localized dead tissue). In most cases this is inaccurate. Despite unconfirmed reports of brown

recluse spider bites in Minnesota, a positively identified brown recluse has never been found biting

someone here. A brown recluse is not a big spider; its body measures only one-quarter to

one-half inch long. It is brown with a dark-colored violin shaped marking behind its head. Brown recluse spiders characteristically have six eyes while most spiders have eight. &160;Brown recluse spiders are not native to Minnesota. They are found in the south central states, from eastern

Nebraska south to eastern Texas and east to southern Indiana, western Kentucky and Tennessee, and northern Georgia.

Brown recluse spiders may be found in Minnesota but they must be transported here from an endemic area. It is possible but rare. The reality is there has only been one confirmed brown recluse spider specimen found in Minnesota in the last 60 years. Brown recluse spiders are shy and infrequently encounter people. Brown recluse spider bites do not usually result in ongoing, ulcerating wounds. The vast majority of brown recluse bites heal on their own within two to three months without medication and with little scarring. There has never been a confirmed death in

North America attributed to a brown recluse spider bite. There are many medical problems that can affect the skin that have been reported in the medical literature, including but not limited to,

any infection with Staphylococcus or Streptococcus species, Lyme disease, infected and chronic Herpes simplex, Herpes zoster, fungal infection, diabetic ulcer, Pyoderma gangrenosum, chemical burn and poison ivy.

Myths

Ancient Greeks believed that if a jaundiced person saw a small yellow bird, the person would instantly be cured and the bird would die.

It was once believed that the kingbird’s favorite food was the brains of other birds.

The Raptor Center

The good folks at the Raptor Center at the University of Minnesota tell me that a single

Red-tailed Hawk could eat as many as 2,000 mice in a year.

A pair of mice, if all their progeny survived, could lead to a million mice in a single year.

There are 1,800 nesting pairs of Bald Eagles in Minnesota and approximately 3,000 individuals in the state.&160; A Bald Eagle has 7,000 feathers.

Wildlife Rehabilitation Center

The Wildlife Rehabilitation Center is a nonprofit, donor-supported organization located in Roseville.&160; It provides quality medical care and rehabilitation for all injured, sick, and orphaned wildlife, and shares its knowledge with people who care about them.&160; For more information, call (651) 486-9453.

Thanks for stopping by

Please join me as I host a cruise on the Pelican Breeze.&160; Call 383-2630 to book a seat on

Saturday, Aug. 26 at 7 p.m.&160;or Sunday, Sept. 3 at 2 p.m.&160;

&8220;Often the difference between a successful marriage and a mediocre one consists of leaving about three or four things a day unsaid.&8221; &045;&160;Harlan Miller

&8220;I figure you have the same chance of winning the lottery whether you play or not.&8221; &045; Fran Lebowitz

DO GOOD.

Al Batt of Hartland is a member of the Albert Lea Audubon Society. E-mail him at SnoEowl@aol.com.