We have penned a revised version of the Andy Williams’ Christmas classic that seems fitting for February:

It’s the least wonderful time of the year.

With the ceilings drip-dripping

And grandma slip-slipping as she falls on her rear.

It’s the least wonderful time of the year.

It’s the sad-saddiest season of all.

With the groundhog retreating and big bills from heating

Your house all winter long

It’s the sad-saddiest season of all.

There’ll be white-knuckle driving

And motorists surviving

The blizzards with winds that blow

There’ll be fatal collisions

And tales with revisions of ditched cars long, long ago.

It’s the least wonderful time of the year

There’ll be roof snow for scooping

And hearts will be drooping

Because no one comes near

It’s the least wonderful time of the year