Parents learned Wednesday night that the easiest way to see their kids behave better was to first control their own emotions and anxiety.

The founders of Celebrate Calm held a parent workshop for the public at Albert Lea High School from 7 to 9 p.m. Wednesday. Kirk Martin, and his son Casey, 17, from Nashville, Tenn., both spoke to the audience about how to make parent-child relationships better.

“Parenting isn’t about kids as much as it is about parents,” Kirk said.

One of Kirk’s main principles is for parents to change their own behavior and hopefully they can begin enjoying their relationship with their child again. Casey said he and his dad never used to get along.

“We didn’t have a relationship before and now we’re close,” Casey said.

Kirk talked to the audience about the things he learned working with kids throughout the years. Casey then helped by talking about the problems they used to have and how they worked on it. Kirk first started finding other ways to communicate with his son when Casey was in elementary school. He defined Casey as a difficult kid. That made him want to help other parents and kids with their problems.

He started out with what he calls “dinner camps” and “weekend camps” where he would invite other kids over to dinner who had previously had problems with their parents. He said in a decade they had about 1,500 kids in their home who they worked with and found strategies that worked.

“Kids react to how their parents treat them,” Kirk said.

He said a common problem is that parents expect kids to be calm, when they get upset over small things or even while they’re yelling at their child.

“We get testimonies that they’re enjoying their relationships again,” Kirk said.

He said their ultimate goal is to get parents and kids talking and not yelling and screaming. He wants families to get along instead of being stressed out all the time.

One mother said she loves what he has taught and has read one of Kirk’s books. She was also at a presentation he gave to teachers earlier Wednesday.

“He has a way of presenting how to keep calm,” Jill Johnson said.

She said one of the things she liked about his teachings was that he reminded parents to think of their child’s heart. She said as long as you can think of your child and their good heart then you can calm down and try to deal with problems.

“If you stay calm when they’re having a harder time instead of staying angry it’s an amazing difference,” Johnson said.

She said she’s not a perfect parent but some of the things she’s learned have helped her interact with kids. Another woman at the workshop was Ellen Saul. Saul is a therapist who works with kids and families.

“He gives some great ways to work with kids,” Saul said.

Saul said she consistently reads the e-newsletter Kirk sends weekly and said his teachings are useful.

“He takes responsibility, and I want to give that message to people I work with,” Saul said.

About 200 people were at the workshop Wednesday. Parents can find more information at www.celebratecalm.com. An organizer of the event was the Freeborn County Thrive Initiative. Jenny Habana works with them and was excited to have Kirk come to Albert Lea.

“One of our goals is to bring parent education locally,” Habana said. “He was a great fit for our mission.”