Column: Pass the Hot Dish

What if I told you you didn’t need a Way Back Machine to travel to the past? What if I said you could get there by jumping in your car or firing up the snowmobile and heading due north for about a hundred miles? What if, when you got there, you got to see Fred Astaire, Bing Crosby and Humphrey Bogart?

It’s true, my Albert Lea friends. Nestled between the Dairy Queen and Mady’s Bowl & Lounge (which has its own charms) in the northeast suburb of Columbia Heights is your very own portal to the past. The Heights Theatre is the Twin Cities’ longest continuously operating movie house. When you buy a ticket, you’re not just seeing a classic screening or a first-run film. You’re entering the golden age of Hollywood, and it never looked so good.

The setting is that of the old-time movie palaces of the Beaux Arts style. The juxtaposition of popcorn and Raisinettes with the ornate décor, all bejeweled and velvety, creates a sensory overload that’s practically comical. Yet the experience of actually watching the film is pared down to such simplicity that it’s become exotic. Though it shows new releases, it’s the treat of seeing black-and-white favorites on the big screen that makes this something old feel quite new.

Built in 1926, The Heights has lived through three fires, a bombing, and a tornado known as “The Big Blow of 1949.” Possibly most impressive is that it’s been able to survive the 21st century. Amid dwindling ticket receipts, most movie theaters are vaunting Imax and 3D to entice customers. The Heights just puts up a sign that reads, “Miracle on 34th Street” and the seats fill.

Personally, I love that The Heights shows neither commercials nor previews. The most you might see before your show starts is a cartoon from the 1930s. Maybe it gives you nightmares, but at least it doesn’t try to sell you anything.

I wonder sometimes, as I sit in our local multiplex, if I’m the only one who, after being told to drink Pepsi, wear Levis, join the army, and what movie to see next, has forgotten what I went there to see in the first place.

Previews were something I used to enjoy, but lately I feel like I’m seeing an entire movie in the condensed five-minute trailer that is supposed to tease and tempt me enough to shell out another nine bucks to do it all over again.

If I see the heroine get the job, the guy, the better wardrobe, and dance around in a musical montage that says, “Hey, even with all this success, I’m still just a girl singing into a hairbrush” then what else is there to see? Recently I watched the original trailer for “The Godfather.” Somebody gets shot; Marlon Brando makes a mildly misogynistic remark, and a bunch of people eat dinner. You don’t know what’s going on in that movie, but you sure would like to. That will get me back in the theater, though I may smuggle in my own popcorn because you can bet your reclining seat I’m sick of paying another nine bucks for a tablespoon of corn and some salty paste.

Aside from not being assaulted by ads and coming attractions, what I enjoy most about The Heights is the effect the setting has on the audience. There is a sense of awe in the crowd, a kind of reverence for the experience, usually reserved for church or the golf course. I don’t know if it’s the patient way the scarlet grande drape slowly reveals the screen as the movie begins or the hypnotic gleam coming off the Egyptian lead crystals in the antique chandeliers as the lights go down, but the audience’s anticipation feels focused and calm. It’s not that people can’t frenetically thumb away on their phones, it’s that they don’t seem to want to. Chatter turns to applause and then silence. Singular agendas are given over to communal satisfaction. If this is herd mentality, then it’s a pretty nice herd.

If you do make your way to the Twin Cities over the holidays, we’d love to have you. After you’ve had enough Malling of America and Holidazzling in the streets, there are still tickets available at The Heights for tonight’s 7 p.m. showing of “White Christmas.” The Nutcracker plays on Dec. 14 and 19, not that new creepy 3D version, but the original ballet. On New Year’s Day you can catch Fred Astaire and Bing Crosby in “Holiday Inn.” Beginning in January and running through February is the Hard-Boiled Bogart Noir series, seven great films starring Bogie, a gun, and a trench coat. You can find more information at www.heightstheatre.com.

I almost forgot. Since the 1950s, pre-show organ music has been played on The Heights own Wurlitzer pipe organ. Yes, a real organ played by a real guy! He’s not a hologram or a 3D image. I guarantee you time travel has never been so easy or fun. The popcorn’s cheap, too.

St. Paul resident Alexandra Kloster appears on two Fridays a month. She may be reached at alikloster@yahoo.com and her blog is Radishes at Dawn at alexandrakloster.com.