Column: Aaron Worm, Behind the Mic

According to Wikipedia.org, a sport is an organized, competitive, entertaining and skillful activity requiring commitment, strategy and fair play, in which a winner and loser can be defined by objective means.

That was my quest this week, to find the official sport of the Freeborn County Fair. I started with the WowBall. If you didn’t see this at the fair, it was the inflatable ball that the person got inside, was pushed into the water and you were supposed to try to walk on water in this ball. I stress the words “supposed to.” Every time I tried to move forward I quickly lost my balance and fell forward, face planting into the bottom of my inflatable ball. I saw a kid about 9 or 10 years old run by me in his ball and that’s when I waved the white flag, and my WowBall career was over.

Next was the Swifty Swine pig racing. Four pigs, with various names from Hilary RodHAM Clinton to Justin BeBOAR raced around the track chasing the prize which was an Oreo cookie. Those little piggies could move, and one of them even was a swimmer. They are amazing little animals. My sons got a kick out of them, too, with my youngest leaving the event with a plastic pig stout.

I don’t know if besides at a county fair be it would be considered a sport, but I enjoyed a handful of games of Bingo. Now it fits the above description of sport, besides the part of “requiring strategy.” Obviously there is none in bingo, just the luck that the bouncing balls that come up will match your board in a way that declares you the winner before anyone else competing. During one of my visits I was on the verge of winning a blackout edition of the game (you win by covering every number), but came up one number short. (I needed O-75, and O-76 was called declaring someone else the winner).

I think most of the games at the midway can be considered sport. My two sons both succeeded in getting a whiffle ball into a colored cup and each scoring a little stuffed animal. I was tempted a few times to try the game, where you throw a baseball, and then have to guess your speed to win a prize. I didn’t think stepping up there and throwing a 34 mph fastball would be good for my self-esteem.

I didn’t get a chance to check out the demo derby on Sunday (I’ll be honest I was hanging out with family and friends at the aquatic center here in Albert Lea) but that has to be the official sport of the fair. It has such a long tradition and it is always a great way to wrap up fair week. Now the only thing that could rival it maybe would be a corn dog eating contest. Joey “Jaws” Chestnut can eat over 50 hotdogs in 10 minutes. Try that with corndogs Joey. Not a chance.

KATE Sports Director Aaron Worm’s column appears each Monday in the Tribune. He can be heard from 6 to 11 a.m. weekdays on The Breeze.