Things I Tell My Wife by Matthew Knutson

“We’ll just have to use the dish soap in the dishwasher instead of the fancy pod things,” I told Sera in a facetious voice.

Searching the house for the normal dishwasher pods proved that we had officially one item in our “lost” category after completing our move to Rochester. Naturally, I was assuming my wife was being high maintenance with her request to use the pods to do the dishes instead of simply putting the dish soap in the machine and calling it good. Maybe the dishes wouldn’t be as perfectly clean, but it’ll work until the next time we run to the store.

Or so I thought. I felt pretty smug filling up the dishwasher’s soap dispenser and turning the machine on. I joined Sera on the couch to watch something on the television when we noticed our dog, Beesly, staring at the kitchen with fear in her eyes. Soap bubbles were everywhere.

If you didn’t know, you can’t put regular dish soap in the dishwasher. Your kitchen will fill with bubbles and continue to do so despite several towels strategically placed to handle the mess. I didn’t know this secret rule, and my wife’s cautious warning as I poured the dish soap into the machine didn’t deter me.

Several people commented on the photo I posted on Facebook of the disaster, immediately knowing what I had done wrong, which prompted Sera to comment on the photo about how she was right. We may have exchanged vows in August, but I’m not sure we were officially husband and wife until that moment.

There’s something about being absolutely wrong in a situation like soap suds filling your kitchen that humbles you. I hadn’t experienced the feeling of inadequacy at home in a while, and previously in our marriage I had just been able to guess correctly without making a fool of myself in front of my wife.

I think most husbands will attest that the I-always-know-what-I’m-doing stage doesn’t last too long, and it’s best to simply realize that your wife is more intelligent than you in some areas. Though I’ve learned it once now, if I’m anything like other husbands, I’ll need to be reminded of this for the rest of my life.

It’s important to note that there are things that I am far more knowledgeable on than my wife. It wouldn’t be smart to list them, but they certainly exist. Part of being in your twenties means discovering adulthood, and in our young marriage, we’re bound to have discovered certain things at different times.

Sure, Sera’s got the dishwasher down, but can she fix the Google Chromecast when it stops working? (Actually, neither of us can do that.) Thankfully, embracing the responsibilities of adulthood has never been easier due to the Internet.

I recently discovered a YouTube channel called, “How to Adult,” and it’s spectacular.

The show features two hosts who teach young adults how to transition into adulthood, and they’re giving my peers the rundown on taxes, how to make friends as an adult and doing laundry correctly among other things. Their premise is that you don’t learn everything you need to know in school, so now you’re just a YouTube video away from learning a practical life lesson.

While I’m certainly not qualified to host a “How to Marriage” channel, I think it would be incredibly useful for couples. Situations where one spouse is clearly right while the other is clearly wrong occur all the time, and responding to those situations can be difficult.

I responded to Sera’s Facebook brag about being correct on the dishwasher issue with the sarcastic suggestion that we should look into using pods for the dishwasher, as if we didn’t already know that they were successful in the past.

For many other couples, this situation could have led to an argument that wasn’t worth having. Unfortunately, people don’t get a marriage manual with their wedding rings.

What did I learn with the dishwasher incident? Listen to your wife. It’s a good lesson to learn early on in a marriage, and one that will be continually useful in the future.

Perhaps it’s a good thing “How to Adult” doesn’t yet have an episode teaching young adults how to use a dishwasher. I’d hate to have to learn my lesson several years into our lifelong commitment and see her social media brag #SeraWasRight trending worldwide on Twitter when I goof up big time.

 

Rochester resident Matt Knutson is the communications and events director for United Way of Olmsted County.