Dear Leah,

I have a great job and a great wife and a great family, but sometimes I feel like I occupy too small of a space, and I’ve breathed nearly all the oxygen from the cramped confines of my life. What do you do when you have everything — but adventure? How do you find adventure without going down dangerous and destructive paths? And please don’t tell me to find a hobby.

— Seeking Adventure

 

Dear Seeking,

I can sympathize with you — I have definitely been there myself many times. As a child I would often read adventures, mysteries and drama. As I grew older I realized life didn’t always contain those elements unless I created them myself, and that definitely gets exhausting!

To children everything has a sense of wonder and adventure. I watch children get so excited when they accomplish a new feat — climbing a small rock wall is full of adventure for them, especially if they make it to the top without help! Every step of our lives has some inherent element of adventure — meeting new friends, finding out we have talent in sports or music or art, falling in love, getting our hearts broken, falling in love again.

It is when we settle down and find contentment that we feel we have lost that sense of adventure in our lives. Some of this has to do with the fact that we aren’t having the adventures we used to, and some is about perception.

I’m going to, as they say, “geek out” a little and show the world that I am in fact a Trekkie with this next statement.

In one episode/movie of Star Trek, Capt. Jean-Luc Picard finds his soul mate — of course, there is an element of adventure with the two falling in love, but there is one scene where they have a “perfect moment.” They weren’t doing anything special — they weren’t skydiving or fighting off aliens. They were just sitting on a rock and talking and all of a sudden time slowed down and they were able to more clearly see the perfection of the world around them.

This, to me, is the true adventure in life — finding adventure and mystery in places all around us. Sure, it’s great to travel the world and to go cruising in a convertible and challenge yourself to complete a daring task, but seeing the world with new eyes for a second can completely change one’s perceptions.

You can have an adventure in your mind — books can do it, or talking to a friend, pondering a concept or listening, really listening to a piece of music. All of these are mini-adventures. Looking at the stars in the sky and realizing, with awe, that we are a speck on a planet in the middle of a galaxy in the middle of a universe that goes on for infinity is probably the most amazing adventure one could have.

If you like to keep your feet and your head on the ground, you could go for a walk over your lunch hour and be intentional to notice one thing along the way — the smell, the colors, the sound of your feet. So often our senses are dulled and we lose the ability to really savor them. It isn’t difficult to re-train them and explore the world more fully.

Ultimately it is about finding what makes you happy and allowing yourself to explore! Perhaps this is another way to say “get a hobby,” but, really, it is about your perception of life itself and how you choose to express yourself.

Personally, I love to write so the opportunity to express myself in this way and answer your question is a mini-adventure. So thank you for that!

Leah Albert is a fictitious character. She likes wine and writing. Don’t ask her to be a matchmaker. Do send your questions to Leah at theniceadviceleahalbert@gmail.com.