“Bees can’t have a nest underground,” I confidently told Sera when she shared her suspicions of an underground hive inside the rock landscaping we have in the front yard. After some reluctant investigating around the house and consulting the insect professionals on Google, I sheepishly admitted my ignorance. There appeared to be a healthy bee hive somewhere underneath the rocks, and that turned out to be just one of our encounters last weekend with insects that sting.

I’ve never been the biggest fan of bees, wasps, hornets, or any other similar bug, but I’ll normally tolerate them. They can do their thing, I’ll do mine, and we’ll all get along just fine. At least that was my train of thought before becoming a homeowner. Now I want to know why they keep building homes attached to my home.

Earlier this summer I was disturbed to find a small wasp nest being built underneath a corner of our deck. I noticed it by chance one day while I was untangling our dog Beesly from one of the deck posts, and immediately started plotting its destruction. A few days prior, Beesly had oddly been lingering on the deck much longer than before, almost fearful to go down the stairs since it would bring her past the nest. I’m thankful to have discovered her fear, for it allowed me to be a hero and vanquish the villainous creatures.

Flash forward to last Friday and you’ll find Sera and I outside, preparing to plant some hostas and other flowers along another edge of our deck. Some “dangerous” winged creature passes by us and my wife immediately shares her suspicions that there’s a nest nearby. Her suspicion quickly turned into a proclamation: planting time is over, and we are to return to the indoors immediately. I began to reassure her that no such nest existed when I looked up and found a new, larger wasp nest had been built underneath the deck on the complete opposite side from the one I destroyed weeks ago.

Dismayed, I looked a few planks underneath the deck and found a small hanging hive of some sort. We were now fighting a war on three fronts: two underneath the deck and one in the front yard underneath the rocks. I was ill equipped and afraid, and Sera was nowhere in sight.

If you ever find yourself in a similar situation, I’m happy to share with you our solution. First, take note the importance of bees and their pollination abilities to our ecosystem when you evaluate the necessity for removing their habitat. If their home isn’t going to impede on the safety of your family (or pets), it’s probably okay to let them hang out nearby. If a large hive has been made, call a professional who might be able to relocate it or remove it without harming the swarm.

Thankfully, our problem was on a much smaller scale, as all nests were obviously newly made due to their relatively small size. The internet instructed me to approach them late in the evening as the sun was setting, so for several nights in a row I dressed up in the thickest sweatpants and sweatshirts I could find and creeped around our house until I reached the backyard. After few frantic sprays of whatever I found at the store with the wasp-killing label, I dashed back around, into the house, and watched from the window to see our unwelcome visitors depart.

Truth be told, it was unnecessary to repeat this over several nights, but part of it was for peace of mind, and another part was because honestly, it was kind of fun. Have you ever snuck around your yard at dusk with your hood up and carrying what looks to be a can of spray paint? I’ve never felt more like a hoodlum, and perhaps never will again.

Throughout this ridiculous process, I’ve learned that persistence pays off. Sometimes you think you’ve taken care of something, only to realize it’s actually grown into a larger problem. I’ve also learned that despite the vast amount of knowledge I have, my wife is going to have some unknowable intuition that I will never comprehend. Perhaps if I listen to her instincts more often, we’ll discover even more unwanted insects. Somehow, I don’t think that is exactly what she wants me to take away from this learning opportunity.

 

Rochester resident Matt Knutson is the communications and events director for United Way of Olmsted County.