The Nice Advice by Leah Albert

Dear Leah,

I have a friend that lives on the East Coast. We went to high school together before she moved away with her family. Recently we reconnected on social media, and she has been asking me to fly out and meet her for a long weekend. We flirt and sometimes more, even though she is married. I know that her husband wouldn’t ever find out. He often travels on business. Should I go? The vacation would be nice…

Signed, Thinking With My Big Head

 

Dear Big Head,

Who doesn’t love a vacation?  Ah, the East Coast — a place rich with history and sights to see. The city that never sleeps! I’ve always wanted to visit the East Coast. If you can afford it, I say go for it.

While you’re booking your plane ticket, I’ll share my thoughts.

Long distance flirting is fun, isn’t it? You can share your deepest, darkest desires without ever having to look her in the eye. You never have to worry about fulfilling the promises of what you’re going to do and how you’re going to do it because there are hundreds of miles between you. Who cares if you can’t really perform for 36 hours straight? She’ll never find out.

I often wonder what goes through a married person’s mind when they decide to log in to that social site and connect intimately with someone who isn’t their spouse. I suppose we’re all human. We all have our needs. It’s that whole till death do we part thing — I tend to get stuck on that. It’s not “till you go away on business, and I really have no life so I reach out and message some shlub.” I have a hard time respecting people like that.

So let’s say Mr. Can’t-Really-Perform-36-Hours and Mrs. Reach-Out-And-Touch-A-Shlub actually meet face to face. Is there lightning? Does someone release doves? I envision awkward coffee and black-out drinking. And a monster hangover that doesn’t end until midweek when you’re back home and have come to the realization that you’ll never again long distance flirt with Mrs. Whatshername because now you’ve gone and ruined the fantasy.

Yep, long distance flirting is fun indeed — until someone messes around and buys a plane ticket.

Sound like fun? I don’t think so.

Save your money. Find a nice, single girl close to home and spend some time getting to know her face to face. Let her get to know you. Find the girl you can share your deepest, darkest desires with, face to face. Sure, it’s terrifying. But hey, at least you’ll have a beautiful pair of eyes to get lost in and arms to hold you until you come back. Much better.

Take care,

Leah

 

Leah Albert is a fictitious character. She likes wine and writing. Don’t ask her to be a matchmaker. Do send your questions to Leah at theniceadviceleahalbert@gmail.com.