The Nice Advice by Leah Albert

Dear Leah,

I recently came across an article online about parents kissing their children on the lips. The author of the article wrote that kissing children on the mouth is overly sexual and went on to say that it leaves children confused. 

The comments on the article showed mixed feelings. Some people thought lip kissing was “creepy” and “weird.” Others, like me, found it to be a means of connection and showing affection. I’m a lip kisser, but I don’t want to harm my child or be considered some kind of freak of nature by society. What’s your take on this?

Signed, Mixed Up Mommy

 

Dear Mixed Up,

I’ve read varying opinions and studies on this subject, too. Recently, I read an article that talked about humans and the scientific origins of kissing. They had some interesting theories!

As it pertains to the parent/child relationship, some say that kissing began with a mother chewing up food and transferring it to their child’s mouth. As the child grew, the mother continued putting her mouth on her child as a means of comfort.

We’re certainly not the only species in the mammalian animal kingdom that shows affection with kisses. Many of our creature-friends perform similar gestures that are an indication of love and affection, like rubbing noses or hooking trunks.

I could write a whole book about my thoughts on the over-sexualization of women and children in society. To me, that way of thinking is “creepy” and “weird.” Don’t buy into it. Don’t believe the hype. We should all be allowed to use our bodies in the ways they were intended to be used, without being judged or shamed publicly.

Sure, we do many of these same things when we are showing love to our mate. The difference is what’s in our heart when we’re doing it. And that’s exactly how you can explain it to your child if they ever become “confused” about the reasons you show affection the way you do.

In my experience, showing your children affection with hugs and kisses is totally natural. I never imagined I would turn into a lip-kissing parent until I did. It wasn’t something I thought twice about, or a conscious choice I made. It just happened that the moment I saw my daughter’s adorable little lips, I knew I wanted to kiss them!

Hope this helps. Take care!

 

Leah Albert is a fictitious character. She likes wine and writing. Don’t ask her to be a matchmaker. Do send your questions to Leah at theniceadviceleahalbert@gmail.com.