Friend’s excessive drinking hurts relationship
Published 12:56 pm Saturday, February 20, 2016
The Nice Advice, By Leah Albert
Dear Leah,
My best friend is in trouble. We’ve known each other for the last 10 years, and in that time have grown to be more like sisters than friends. She is a bit younger than me. Her parents both passed away when she was younger. She was a teenage mother (now 25), and has always struggled with poverty and mental illness.
Recently, she lost her job. Since then she has been drinking excessively. It seems she will go on binges lasting two or three days, sleep it off and then binge again. She’s not job searching. I’m concerned about her child. He is school-aged, and I have no idea if he’s been attending or not.
Earlier this week, she answered the phone when I called. She was so inebriated it was like she was on another planet. I have heard her intoxicated before, but something was different about this. She was mumbling incoherently. She kept setting the phone down and walking away, like she’d forgotten I was on the line. It was scary.
Since I live out of town and was unable to check on her myself, I decided to reach out to mutual friends.
No one was willing to go make sure she and her son were okay. Frankly, they were fed up with her behavior. I made the decision to call the police to do a welfare check.
My friend was transported to a nearby hospital with a blood alcohol level of nearly .4 – a level that typically results in death. Her son was taken into child protective services. She contacted me the next day, and she told me she hates me. I feel so guilty for calling the police, but I was really scared for her and her son. Can you help with the guilt?
Good Deed Gone Bad
Dear Good,
You did the right thing, and I think in your heart you know this. Think of what might have happened if you hadn’t called the police, about what might have happened if you or a friend had gone over there instead, and she died in her sleep. Think about if no one went to check on her and her son found her in bed, dead. You definitely did the right thing.
Your friend will likely face legal consequences for her behavior, and that will be hard. If your friend chooses to contact you, and you choose to stay connected with her, I encourage you to keep her focused on the bigger, brighter picture. Encourage her to find the positives in her experience, and keep reminding her that on the other side of this she will be a stronger person, and a more present mother.
Best of luck to you both.
Sincerely,
Leah
Leah Albert is a fictitious character. She likes wine and writing. Don’t ask her to be a matchmaker. Do send your questions to Leah at theniceadviceleahalbert@gmail.com.