“I think it’s interesting that you’re referring to the grandmother as the mother,” I told my wife as we were watching a sitcom earlier this week. It had dawned on me that Sera was categorizing the roles of the three generations featured in the show in a new way. I had always viewed the eldest in the fictional family as the grandmother because it fit neatly with the three generational types. If she’s the mother, and the central figures are her children, then it’s tough to categorize the central figure’s children. You don’t often refer to children’s children, after all.

Sera was correct in a sense; grandma certainly was considered mom as well, but I couldn’t help but wonder if Sera’s shift in renaming grandma to mom had something to do with our new perspective as parents. In a very short time period, our role was elevated from children to parents, and now Sera’s television viewing lens was as a parent. I haven’t quite made the leap of identifying with the parents in television shows, but I too have noticed a change in perspective while watching other television programming.

Channel surfing late last week brought us to a special on ABC highlighting Disneyland’s 60th year in existence. Sera quickly shared that we hope to take Gracelyn to the magical park in a few years. Then I noticed the half-naked dancers leading the parade to Beauty and the Beast’s “Be Our Guest,” and I became worried about the appropriateness of the content in this Disney special. Apparently my lens was also changing. Also, I was suddenly aware of how few people of color were being represented in this dance number, and how my little girl might not be able to see herself as one of those talented, though poorly clad, dancers. I think I was supposed to feel better after Elton’s Johns performance of his hit song, “The Circle of Life,” with a poorly-lit African choir performing nearby. I didn’t feel much better.

My perspective is changing as I begin to understand what it means to be a parent, and it appears that Sera’s perspective is changing too. Sometimes I wish people’s perspectives could more easily change without going through some sort of experience. I remember looking at kids in the grocery store screaming and thinking those parents don’t know how to control their child. While that certainly could have been a true judgement, it could also be true that sometimes children just cry at the most inconvenient times.

Lately, I’ve been trying to adjust my perspective on our presidential candidates. I am very much an undecided voter, and I know Super Tuesday is just around the corner. I plan to participate in the Minnesota caucus, but I’m afraid I’ll be casting my vote against a candidate instead of for a candidate I genuinely want to lead our country. That’s saddening. Many of my friends are passionate about a handful of candidates, but I haven’t found one who rises to the top yet. Imagining the perspectives of those I care about will certainly help me understand who I believe is best to lead our country. If only there was a way to live their perspectives instead of just imagine.

Sometimes all we can do is seek out a better understanding of oneself. At work we recently received a link to Project Implicit’s tests hosted on Harvard’s website that helps reveal an individuals preference on a variety of topics ranging from race to age and more. I recommend you spend some time taking a few of these tests by visiting implicit.harvard.edu and you may get to know yourself better.

Hopefully, many, many years from now, Sera and I will have the opportunity for our perspective to shift once again as we watch a television show featuring three generations and can refer to the youngest as grandchildren. With a hopeful blessing of old age, I’m sure our current perspectives will have evolved even further, because, as I’m told, old age comes with wisdom.

 

Rochester resident Matt Knutson is the communications and events director for United Way of Olmsted County.