I take static from people for being one of those people who hangs out online and is interested in technology, especially at my age. I hear comments directed my way from others my age about wasting my time on the Internet. I have had to defend my actions and the fact I enjoy the world, which opens up to me through my online friends. I don’t consider it a waste of time, but a way to connect easier with those I love and with new and old friends.

I usually sleep through the night but recently I woke up at 1:30 in the morning. I was puzzled as to the reason I was wide awake. There was no earth-shattering noise that woke me up. My eyes had decided they didn’t want to sleep anymore. At 1:35 a.m.  the cellphone beside my bed pinged indicating I had a text. I was surprised and wondered who was texting me in the middle of the night.

The text read, “Hi Grandma, I just got sick.” It was one of my granddaughters. She too had woken in the middle of a night for a different reason. I was thankful I was awake to hear her text. I immediately began a conversation with her through our texts until she was ready to try and sleep. I was glad I could comfort her, and she felt she could contact me in the middle of the night while trying to go back to sleep. Maybe that was the reason I was awake.

Since my eyes wanted to remain open for a short time, I decided to check Facebook. One of my online friends was asking for prayer because she too was up and had taken an ambulance ride to the ER and spent hours there. She was now home but scared and was reaching out to her friends. Immediately those of us who saw the post responded. The next morning she thanked us for helping her get through the night and help her through her fear.

When I mention a Facebook friend to my family or others I often am asked: Is this a real friend that you know or virtual person you only know from Facebook? When I answer I have only met them on Facebook but they are a real person and they are my friend, I get eye rolling.

The definition of friend is someone whom one knows and has a bond of mutual affection with. It does not say you have actually had to meet the person whom you consider a friend.

I thought about others who were online in the middle of the night. One was an old friend I have not seen in over 45 years, yet we are still friends and so we, too, chatted while our eyes were supposed to be closed. Others of those I call my friends were online because they were having a lonely or tough time and they needed to reach out to someone.

I will say this — I do have Facebook acquaintances, but those who I consider closer friends are those whom I have built up a bond of mutual respect and caring and interests over the years. Some I have met over Skype, and we can chat for hours as if we are together in our living rooms. Skype knows no bounds of countries and if not for technology I would not have met these friends whom have expanded my interests and my world. Though we live far apart, I and they know if we were closer we would be supporting each other through the good, the bad and the sad in person.

We have shared our lives through the good times, illness, death and whatever comes our way. I have friends and yes, though I have not met them in person, I care about them the same way I care about my friends whom I may see every day, who use Facebook and other social media to connect with people because they have disabilities that stop them from leaving their houses without help. They reach out so they are not so lonely.

I have friends who are disabled who have used Facebook and the Internet to build a business they would not have if it were not for the web, because their disabilities stop them from working in the real world and they want to be a productive person. I admire them for doing so. They have changed the way I think about disability.

One of my friends from Canada disappeared from her online activity without explanation. Her friends from all over the world became concerned and worked hard to find out what had happened to her and to see if she needed help. She was gravely ill and because she was missed, her friends found this out and arranged many ways to reach out to her to aid in her recovery.

I use Facebook to pray for people — people I don’t know. Through posts from friends I have prayed for a young woman and her son for years because they struggle with certain illnesses that are devastating. When they are in crisis they ask for our help through prayer. I have others this happens with too. Because I believe prayer works, I find this an opportunity to pray for people I otherwise would not know needed prayer.

So, yes, I waste my time on social media, and yes, those virtual friends are real friends. Maybe someday I will meet some of them but if not, my life is richer for connecting with them. Friendships don’t have to be face to face — think of the old days and pen pals. Friendships start because people share interests and hearts and they care about one another. That is what makes a friend.

Oh, and I am grateful for cellphone technology that connects me with a sick granddaughter in the middle of the night. Love shared virtually is still love.

 

Wells resident Julie Seedorf’s column appears every Monday. Send email to her at hermionyvidaliabooks@gmail.com. Her Facebook page is http://www.facebook.com/julie.