“I wonder how often we let fear keep us from doing what’s best for us,” I said to my wife after fearlessly changing another diaper. Fear’s been on my mind a lot lately, mainly because it has been on Sera’s.

My wife has always been the worrier between the two of us. She’s the one who will have the nightmares, the one who might get caught up in the vast possibilities of what could go wrong at any moment. Our first few nights with baby Gracelyn at home primarily consisted of Sera checking on her with every unique sounding breath our daughter expressed. It’s natural to worry, to be fearful that something bad has happened. It’s also important for us to not let fear control our lives.

Many of my friends recently shared some of their greatest fears with me. I was surprised with how quickly and honestly people responded to my inquiry about their fears. I think I’d be afraid to share my fears with others, knowing that I’d be exposing a potential weakness for someone to exploit. Thankfully, my friends didn’t share that fear. Their responses ranged from the ordinary: spiders, snakes, clowns, death — to the unusual: bridges, escalators, and car washes.

In many cases, one person’s fear was certainly another person’s joy. For example, I love thunderstorms, but to some they are absolutely terrifying. I recall being a child and my mom insisting we head to the basement while my dad opened up the garage door to get a better look at the storm. When I asked my friends to share their fears, one shared a fear of monkeys. Other people love monkeys, but I’m certain she believes Disney’s “Tarzan” is more terrifying than “Snakes on a Plane.” To me, that’s unfathomable.

Several of my friend’s fears revolved around death or losing someone close to them. Being afraid of someone specific passing away, loneliness after someone is gone, and not even being able to say goodbye are all more serious fears we commonly experience. There’s not much we can do to combat those fears except to love who we have in our lives to the utmost. If we have to choose between living in fear of losing someone we love, or actually loving someone, the choice should be clear: Choose to love them while you can, whether it be for a day or 100 years.

Thankfully, we don’t have to wait to express our love to our family and friends. We may not always know how to show our loved ones we care, but I do have a suggestion for how you can start: Encourage your loved ones to face their fears. Take them skydiving, go to the zoo or teach them to swim. There is no better time than now to push someone out of their comfort zone.

One of the most common fears is going to the doctor. So many people live in fear of the doctor finding out something is wrong and how that will change your life, but treatments work best when something is detected early. March is colon cancer awareness month, and perhaps the best gift you can give someone is an invitation to get a colonoscopy. Are people afraid of getting a colonoscopy? You bet. Does it save lives? Every day. The data backs it up: States that have more people screened for colon cancer have fewer deaths from colon cancer. Screening should start at age 50, or sooner if your loved one has certain symptoms. This month, let’s not let the fear of a conversation about colon cancer prevent us from saving the life of a loved one. Let’s not let the fear of a colonoscopy prevent us from living a healthy life.

We shouldn’t be people that let fear dictate what’s best for us our or loved ones. This month, I encourage you to help others overcome their fear of being screened for colon cancer. You just might save a life, preventing one of your biggest fears from becoming reality. Maybe next month we’ll focus on getting over my fear of the baby crying in public places.

 

Rochester resident Matt Knutson is the communications and events director for United Way of Olmsted County.