The Nice Advice by Leah Albert

Dear Leah,

I’m 24 and have lived on my own for six years, but I always go home for Christmas  —  and it’s always a disaster. My stepfather and I do not get along — at all. He and my mom married when I was 10, but I‘ve never felt like he truly accepted me as his own.

This year, my new boyfriend has invited me to stay with his family. As tempted as I am, I worry that it’s too much too soon  —  and, worse, that I will break my mom’s heart. The holidays and tradition are so special to her. Please help!

Signed, All Grown Up

Dear All Grown Up,

You must do what is good for you, while still being considerate of others. This is the sometimes overwhelming first instruction on how to be an adult. (No one has yet figured out how this applies to the holiday season, but let’s give it a try.) In your case, you want three things: an un-disastrous Thanksgiving; to pace your romance; and to protect your mom’s heart. What does your grown-up wish list look like in action?

Perhaps an attempt to celebrate Christmas with your mom — without your stepdad. This might mean inviting her for a sleepover, her favorite dinner and a gift exchange — on a night other than the 25th. You may also want to spend some time with your boyfriend’s family, though it might be best to choose another day. The heavyweight trifecta of the 24th, 25th and 26th might feel too high-pressure.

Knowing you’re entering the season with a new format — one that you’ve actually chosen for yourself — might just help you recover your holiday cheer. Take care!

Leah

Leah Albert is a fictitious character. She likes wine and writing. Don’t ask her to be a matchmaker. Do send your questions to Leah at theniceadviceleahalbert@gmail.com.